Sometime in 2014, in between a complete mental breakdown and existential crisis, I discovered the importance of Honoring my needs. As a mom and a wife I realized that a majority of my day was spent doing things that I hated, thus resulting in a big heaping pile of unhappiness. In a moment of clarity and a strong desire to change my world, I decided from that moment on I’d only do things that brought me Happiness.

I surrounded myself with quotes ranging between the basic, “you can’t pour from and empty cup” to “it’s ok to cut out people from your life if they aren’t honoring your happiness.” I also made changes to my daily routines and made a conscience choice to find happiness in the chaos called life. I’m certain that the quotes didn’t lead to happiness and that it was in fact the choice to do something. Do anything. Take action in the things that I desperately wanted. Eventually it all led up to, what I would describe as happiness.

But guess what!? My kids can be complete and total jerks. My husband can make me want to study true crime shows so I know how to dispose of the body. I’ve had co-worker’s that have made me want to punch holes in walls and oh my goodness, snooty customer’s that make me want to make a voodoo doll and meticulously put pins in it and watch the reaction. This is life. This is reality. Sometimes the people who love and support you most, cannot give you their best. Sometimes the job you love comes with a side of a co-worker who may lead you to the belief that alcoholism is an option as a coping mechanism. Sometimes we allow a 5 minute interaction wreck our vibe for the rest of the day. Sometimes we are human.

Not to state the obvious but I would never do any of the things mentioned above, and I love my husband and children infinitely. However, since I’m being completely honest, relationships and life can get Uncomfortable. It’s impractical to try and mitigate every negative and uncomfortable situation. Honoring yourself and your happiness may have more to do with honoring your values and your journey, rather than avoiding the obstacles in life all together.

You have to get uncomfortable. Just like going to the gym can cause the wonderful pains of muscle gain, you become sore when you use your muscles in an unfamiliar way, but it’s needed for growth. And just like going to the gym, there is a big difference in pain from growth and pain from damage. Embrace the uncomfortable and grow into a human filled with an exuberant amount of good vibes.