We’ve all heard some variation of the saying “Don’t look for love. Let love find you.” Though it’s super cliché and we roll our eyes at it, it’s so true.
I was inspired to write this post after I had a great conversation with my dad at dinner the other night. We were on the topic of relationships and he shared some of the best relationship Advice I’d heard in a while. Granted, these are all things that we’ve discussed in the past, but it was refreshing to hear it again. Typically, any relationship advice comes from my mom, so I like when I get advice from my dad because he offers a different perspective.
So, with that being said, I’m going to share with you guys some of the awesome advice I got from him!
You have to attract a man. You can’t find a man. My dad related this to going shopping and simply buying the first pair of shoes or pants you see just because you need a pair and you’re tired of looking. Isn’t it funny how when we are actively seeking a companion, we end up settling for someone totally wrong for us (for example, someone who’s disrespectful, a bad communicator, lazy, or inattentive). This is because, just like those shoes at the mall, we’ve settled for the first guy who came our way and showed us some attention.
Instead, work on attracting a man. You attract a man by how you carry yourself. When you’re working on yourself and focused on your goals, ambitions, and self-improvement, that is when you attract a man (I know you’ve heard this a thousand times). Even though it’s easy to lower your standards and settle for the wrong person, don’t! Always remember that you are a queen and deserve to be treated as such.
“The best way to get over one man is to get into yourself.” – Dad
You don’t need a man. Once you’re truly content with yourself, you will understand that you don’t need a man to be complete. When you’re content with yourself, you enjoy a man’s company but you don’t need it. When you’re content with yourself, you understand that you can be alone without being lonely. You have to get to a place where you’re happy with yourself; you don’t mind chilling at home alone and watching a movie or having some me-time by treating yourself to a spa day. Of course, you can easily get a man, but when you’re independent, having a man isn’t a necessity; you don’t have to rely on a man to make you happy or feel complete. When you’re 100% all about you and focused on your grind, that’s most likely when Mr. Right will come along.
You and Mr. Right will have a mutual vision. A man who is right for you is someone who appreciates all of your accomplishments and compliments your success. He will not be intimidated by your accomplishments, but rather, motivated by them. You should both have similar ambitions and strive to better yourselves together. Ultimately, Mr. Right will appreciate you and everything you have to offer. He will accept you, flaws and all (shout-out to Beyonce) and appreciate your hustle; he won’t complete you, but instead compliment you.
I am blessed to have found Mr. Right when I least expected it, so I can attest to all of these points. I must say that having such a wonderful example of Mr. Right as a father definitely helped to set the precedence for what I wanted in a life partner.
It is my hope that if you are Actively Seeking Mr. Right, you will stop and start focusing on bettering yourself first. Refer back to these tips and always remember your worth. I know it’s easier said than done, but, trust me, you should never settle for anything or anyone.
Let me know what you guys think about my dad’s advice. Have you found any of this to be true? How did you end up finding Mr. Right? Am I missing anything? Let me know in the comments!