Lake Jeanette, Greensboro, NC...
If you're like most people you've heard this phrase repeated so many times that you probably believe it as an unquestionably true statement of fact, unless of course you’ve already experienced the death of someone you genuinely care about and been initiated into the realities of grieving. That’s when most of us suddenly learn that you never forget the people you love.
In fact, in our culture of grief-avoidance it's far more likely that grief becomes worse over time, and what appears to be healthy adjustment is really a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. The reality of life is that losses start to accumulate over time, which means the grief of each new loss gets laid on top of the festering pain and unprocessed grief of those that came before. In my experience it’s not the passing of time which heals the wound, it’s taking the right actions.
Grief is much like breaking an arm: you can choose to do nothing about a broken heart or you can take the right steps to treat it properly. Because we understand that doing nothing about a broken arm can result in deformity and nerve damage, very few people would choose to do nothing. Similarly, doing nothing about a broken heart can lead to a lifetime of pain and suffering, yet many people think they can just tough their way through it.
Grief recovery isn’t about forgetting, letting go and moving on. It’s about completing what was unfinished in your relationship to the departed and regaining your ability to engage with life in a healthy way. When done correctly, grief recovery is actually about how to carry your lost loved one with you into the future, honoring the bond and allowing the memories you shared to infuse life with a deeper meaning. That doesn’t take away your desire to see and touch them again, but it can end the emotional devastation associated with it.
Closely related to the myth that time heals all wounds is the idea that a certain amount of time has to pass before you can seek help for your grieving. Going back to the analogy of the broken arm, no one would suggest that you wait a couple of months before going to the emergency room, but for some strange reason this advice is often given to people with emotional wounds.
The paradox of grief is that embracing the experience and learning to process it causes it to shift from being a debilitating burden to a valuable life-skill, and rather than each new loss getting piled on top of the wreckage of those that came before, each new loss actually begins to increase your capacity to be a whole human being.
If you've experienced the death of a loved one and are struggling to find your way through a tangle of painful emotions, please know that you don't have to face this difficult time alone. The Grief Recovery Method provides a time tested blueprint for healthy grieving and returning to balance.
If you're like most people you've heard this phrase repeated so many times that you probably believe it as an unquestionably true statement of fact, unless of course you’ve already experienced the death of someone you genuinely care about and been initiated into the realities of grieving. That’s when most of us suddenly learn that you never forget the people you love.
In fact, in our culture of grief-avoidance it's far more likely that grief becomes worse over time, and what appears to be healthy adjustment is really a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. The reality of life is that losses start to accumulate over time, which means the grief of each new loss gets laid on top of the festering pain and unprocessed grief of those that came before. In my experience it’s not the passing of time which heals the wound, it’s taking the right actions.
Grief is much like breaking an arm: you can choose to do nothing about a broken heart or you can take the right steps to treat it properly. Because we understand that doing nothing about a broken arm can result in deformity and nerve damage, very few people would choose to do nothing. Similarly, doing nothing about a broken heart can lead to a lifetime of pain and suffering, yet many people think they can just tough their way through it.
Grief recovery isn’t about forgetting, letting go and moving on. It’s about completing what was unfinished in your relationship to the departed and regaining your ability to engage with life in a healthy way. When done correctly, grief recovery is actually about how to carry your lost loved one with you into the future, honoring the bond and allowing the memories you shared to infuse life with a deeper meaning. That doesn’t take away your desire to see and touch them again, but it can end the emotional devastation associated with it.
Closely related to the myth that time heals all wounds is the idea that a certain amount of time has to pass before you can seek help for your grieving. Going back to the analogy of the broken arm, no one would suggest that you wait a couple of months before going to the emergency room, but for some strange reason this advice is often given to people with emotional wounds.
The paradox of grief is that embracing the experience and learning to process it causes it to shift from being a debilitating burden to a valuable life-skill, and rather than each new loss getting piled on top of the wreckage of those that came before, each new loss actually begins to increase your capacity to be a whole human being.
If you've experienced the death of a loved one and are struggling to find your way through a tangle of painful emotions, please know that you don't have to face this difficult time alone. The Grief Recovery Method provides a time tested blueprint for healthy grieving and returning to balance.
