This Halloween, for the first time, we decided to go trick or treating with the boys. Chai loves dressing up and has always loved Halloween.
In the past Tiger was always away so I'd take them to our local shopping centre. They did a great event where everyone would get dressed up, the kids would make a lolly bag then be given a map and they had to go to all the different shops to get lollies. I loved it because it was safe, indoors and only lasted an hour. The boys loved it because they got dressed up and got lots of lollies.
This year the event wasn't on due to covid.
We arranged for some friends to come over with their kids. They got to our House at 4.30pm and we were ready to go, however Tiger decided we'd have dinner first. We told him that we needed to go early but he knew best.
By the time we got out of the house it was 7.30pm and most of the houses had run out of lollies. We had to drive and Chai was getting increasingly upset. We found a few houses that were still open, but most of them were finished.
Our friends were following us in their car. After we'd unsuccessfully tried five different houses Chai had a meltdown. He was so upset, he'd been looking forward to trick or treating for months and it was a total fizzer. Instead of apologising properly, Tiger apologised totally inadequately once and then got angry when Chai didn't immediately calm down.
The poor boy was devastated. So here we were driving around in the car, Chai was having a meltdown, Eljay was crying, Tiger was yelling at them and I was questioning my life choices.
I managed to calm the boys down and we pulled up at one last house. The boys ran in, got their lollies, we said goodbye to our friends and off they went.
By this time I was totally drained. I started thinking that they had absolutely no idea what had been going on whilst we were driving around. They probably though we had a great night.
It just goes to show that you never really know what's going on in peoples lives. They were right there with us and yet had no idea the drama and stress that was occurring in our car.
We just don't know what's going on behind the scenes for people. They might pretend that everything is okay and yet on the inside they ciould be on the verge of a meltdown.
It's hardened my resolve not to judge. We're all doing the best that we can at any given time, and if sometimes our best isn't quite good enough that's totally okay.
Be kind and gentle with others and yourself. You're equally deserving of the love and compassion that you show to others.