Kick the abusive and misogynistic mainstream Porn to the curb, and choose sex-positive, female-friendly porn made especially with women in mind.

While there is still much debate over whether or not any porn is actually good for you, there seems to be a space carved out in erotic cinema that’s more conducive to not just the viewers, but also to the women in the films. Often deemed sex-positive, feminist-friendly, or female-friendly porn, when you compare these legitimate sites to mainstream porn, the difference is like night and day.

Female-friendly porn is different in that it varies the body type, represents more “conventional” women, makes female pleasure a priority, leans toward artistic and erotic direction, infuses more sensuality, focuses on quality production, and treats the performers with respect and dignity, including regard for their sexual health. The films may or may not be directed by women, but they defy the mainstream porn gaze, and focus on storylines that are usually more appealing to women. This doesn’t mean that your favorite kink can’t still be found, but you can feel reassured in that the performers are treated better, with many production companies utilizing real-life couples as the basis for their films.

Erika Lust, founder of the Barcelona-based, female-centric and sex-positive indie film and production company Lust Cinema, was like many women when venturing out into the wide world of internet pornography. When asked what prompted her to begin writing and directing erotic films she replied, “I was exposed to porn at a young age like many people, and my first reaction was disappointment. When I was older, I decided to give it another try, but the same woman in heels was still giving a blowjob to a police officer to get rid of a fine.”

During her time studying political science and gender studies at the University of Lund in Sweden, Lust’s view of porn was drastically changed by Linda Williams’s book “Hard Core: Power, Pleasure, and the ‘Frenzy of the Visible.’” She says of her self-described lightbulb moment after reading the text, “I realised that mainstream porn is not something that really reflects any truths about sex — but it makes a statement, an idea, it expresses ideologies and values, and also opinions about sex and gender,” pointing out a line from Williams’s book that reads, “Pornography as a genre wants to be about sex. On close inspection, however, it always proves to be more about gender.”

Thanks to female-friendly porn pioneers like Lust, the development of sensual, erotic films has begun to change the way we look at sex. They are more accessible and are becoming more widely recognized by the day, and in addition to the award-winning films produced by the companies we are about to explore, many of these producers focus on representing the realistic side of sex. It’s funny, intimate, passionate, and very different that what’s often represented in mainstream porn.  

1. Lust Cinema

Founded by European producer Erika Lust, Lust Cinema and Xconfessions have been her answer to the mainstream porn industry problem. When asked about what her company does differently when it comes to casting, she replied, “The most important thing to me are the performers. Our casting process is long and thorough. We always make sure our performers are sex-positive and one hundred percent happy and enthusiastic to be involved.”

When it comes to direction, Lust had this to say, “I have a rule that I don’t direct the sex at all. I let the performers do what feels natural and pleasurable. I don’t tell them put your leg here or your arm there! They talk before and decide what they want to do, this makes for the best results on screen and they have a better time!”

2. Crash Pad Series

Brought to you by Pink and White Productions, Shine Louise Houston “recognized an underserved demand for an alternative to mainstream pornography, and began to create well-crafted queer made porn.” The Crash Pad Series is based on the premise of a secret apartment where a key is passed on to the next person after having used it seven times. Lots of queer sex takes place in the apartment where the users’ wildest fantasies come true.

The stars in Houston’s films vary widely. Queer women, trans men, cis men, genderqueer, and gender-variant people are all included. The variation of body type, age, race, gender expression, and body modification are all taken into account, representing a wide range. On the topic of performer agency and consent, the website had this to say: “We collaborate with performers to shoot based on how they’d like to be presented. Performers come up with the episode plot (to ad-lib a script, or skip straight to the sex), and negotiate boundaries to decide on mutually consensual actions prior to filming, informing the crew of what they would like to do.”

3. Pure Cunnilingus

The largest and oldest site dedicated to male-female cunnilingus, this is the ultimate destination for muff diving. Often neglected in pornography, and overshadowed by female-male blow jobs, this site is the answer to representing more heterosexual cunnilingus in the adult world. The site stands by the claim of producing sex-positive, ethical porn.

4. Bright Desires

Described as “the embodiment of a sex-positive philosophy, aiming to offer a different kind of porn, one that is joyful and inclusive, with more intimacy, laughter, passion and connection,” Bright Desires takes pride in its female-friendly porn approach. The videos feature real-life couples and solo men and women, and claims that “the sex looks more like the sex people have at home – and that includes things like lube and vibrators.” The performers are active participants, and the films show real female orgasms.

5. For the Girls

One of the oldest and largest erotics-for-women sites, For the Girls provides adult entertainment from the hetero female gaze. Focusing on female fantasies and pleasure, this site contains lots of male nudity and appendages, “because we love cock!” In addition to the photos, there is also an archive of couples porn, featuring hard-core, romantic plot-based movies, real-life couples, and a women’s magazine featuring erotic stories that claim they transcend “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Not that that’s a difficult task, but I digress. What’s important is that For the Girls puts women first, and that’s a real turn-on.

Still looking for more? These female-friendly porn guides, found here and here, will lead you in the right direction.

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