The Triple Talaq bill entered Lok Sabha for discussion and with the BJP pro, it and the opposition against it, the future of lakhs of Indian citizens will be soon determined. The Supreme Court has already ruled Triple talaq unconstitutional in August 2017. This bill, however, will make Triple Talaq a non-bailable criminal offence. The issue we are confronted with is whether the misuse of such a law, made with intention for protection of women, be yet another weapon created which can be misused by women against men. If the Supreme Court has already ruled Triple talaq unconstitutional how does it change things by criminalising it? As a woman, it feels great to have laws on your side, until a woman targets your son, brother, father or uncle with its misuse. Any woman can lodge a fictitious complaint stating she victimized by Triple talaq and throw her husband behind bars. We have already seen sections 498 A, domestic violence and 376 (rape) being misused by women for personal gain, manipulation, extortion, and vendetta. The data and statistics of misuse of these laws is pegged at 53% by Delhi Commission of Women (2013-14) However, most men’s rights activists state that almost 70% of all Domestic violence cases are a gross misuse of the law. Even if you put it at a conservative 30% it still means lakhs and lakhs of men and their families being victimised, penalised, tortured and torn apart. We need to examine what happens to our society with the misuse of such laws. The sad reality is that these laws are equivalent to weapons and women are not afraid to misuse them. There are lakhs of innocent men in jail and lakhs who are about to be put in jail and it will naturally breed a mindset of misogyny after such an experience. In addition, men watching the rising statistics of misuse are increasingly scared to flirt, date, live-in or marry women. Do we want to live in fear and distrust-based society? CNBC states that 60% of men are scared to mentor women in their workspace. Do we want good women losing out on jobs based on the growing fear and distrust because multitudes of conniving women are misusing laws? Also, does criminalising Triple talaq and giving women yet another weapon that can be misused, mean the imminent death of marriages by Islamic ceremonial rites and become a law that pushes Muslims to marry only under the Indian law?
I am a college girl from a conservative family. A classmate is very good friend of mine, but of late I have felt a different vibe from her. I think she is attracted to me. She has never come out about her sexual orientation and since I am not sure I cannot ask her outright, especially because I feel she is in love. I am straight but I love her as a friend. And I will feel so very bad if she is hurt in any way. What should I do? Should I confront her?
The word confront is hostile. It automatically means at loggerheads. Instead, very casually in conversation bring up the conversation of a friend who is homosexual and how it’s wonderful that laws today support him, and make it clear that though you could never be with someone of the sex it’s wonderful that those who choose to, are able to do so today. This will make things amply clear and if she still makes you feel uncomfortable, you have every right to keep a distance. You’d do it with a man who made you feel uncomfortable, so the same rules apply.
My cousin brother is in love with a girl who often comes to our house. I have seen them close many times and once he noticed that I had accidentally entered the room. However, my cousin did not stop what he was doing with his girlfriend. She was unaware of my presence. I ran out of the room embarrassed and horrified at his attitude. It did not feel right. Have not met my cousin since that day. Does this situation amount to sexual abuse? I am not a minor though.
If you’re not a minor, behave like an adult. He should have locked the door, but it was a mistake for you to barge in like that without knocking. I assume you were there just a couple of seconds before turning around and walking out, so you wouldn’t know whether he stopped or not. If you were there staring longer than a few seconds, then you need to question yourself more than him. It’s childish to avoid the issue. Just message him saying you’re sorry you just barged in and that you hope he’s not feeling weird about it. Put a cute emoji and keep it light.
I am a 32-year-old man planning to move to the US soon, but my family wants me to get married before that. The girl I’ve been dating since a few months is much younger and isn’t really interested in labelling our relationship. I think I’m mentally ready to get married and waiting for things to work out is too exhausting. Is it the right time to go for the arranged route?
Marriage is not about the right time, it’s about the right person. You can always live in with someone if you’re looking for companionship. Marriage is too huge a commitment to make in a flash, especially if you’re embarking on a huge geographical shift. It’s your family who want you to marry in hurry, but it’s you who has to live with that human being for the rest of your life. Times have changed and divorces are common and unpleasant. It’s more mentally exhausting dealing with incompatibility and divorce rather than loneliness.
DISCLAIMER : Views expressed above are the author’s own.
via TOI Blog
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