I once had a boss tell me “You’re not as good as you think you are.” I wanted to share my thoughts on that with you.
Being told that you are terrible in something is naturally a blow to your ego. You can feel defensive when you are told things that you don’t believe are true. I understand that. However, there are times where feedback is wrong, and it pointless to try to point this out.
When I was told that I agreed that I make mistakes and that I am not perfect. I said however in this case, there were circumstances in which the outcome was forced and that I couldn’t have done anything different.
I am not going to try to argue or state my positions why I think that feedback was incorrect. It will sound like I can’t take Criticism. I have taken criticism all of my life, both thoughtful and unthoughtful. I think that to improve you have to have criticism that is tempered with an understanding of a person. Otherwise, it is just cruelty.
There is an old Russian proverb. Faults are thick where love is thin. I would restate that to say “Faults are thick where respect is thin.” To respect someone you have to appreciate who they are as a person. You have to Accept their helpful and unhelpful things. You have to think that the situation could have been prevented by them. If it couldn’t be prevented, then you have to accept that it was a learning experience and that it doesn’t need to be addressed.
So the things that you can learn from and change, then you can talk to someone about. Telling someone that they aren’t as good as they think they are doesn’t do anything to help anything. That person said the same thing about himself. That he isn’t as good as he thinks he is. I didn’t agree with that dear reader. I said that I have done more good things and proved that in the number of things that I have gotten right and people have been happy about.
The sad thing is that most people can’t accept being mistaken. I admit that I made mistakes. Why is it so hard that they admit they made mistakes too?
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