2016-03-19 18:53
I had the good fortune of seeing Mitch Hedberg on TV once, though at the time I had no idea what his name was. Through the marvel of modern technology, otherwise known as the phenomenon call… Read More
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2016-03-19 18:53
In days gone by, reporters asked tough questions, smoked cigarettes and tucked press passes into the brims of their fedoras. They wore suspenders and slept-in suits, pounded the pavement nig… Read More
2016-03-19 18:53
In days gone by, artists revelled in the introduction of contrary ideas, imaginative new visual forms and championing the appreciation of beauty. They painted, sculpted, sketched and designe… Read More
2016-03-19 18:53
"O Captain! My Captain!" Todd shouted."Sit down, Mr. Anderson!" Mr. Nolan bellowed. "Do you hear me? Sit down! Sit down! This is your final warning, Anderson. How dare you? Do you hear me?""… Read More
2007-06-15 21:17
Q: Is it appropriate to have a discussion with someone in a public washroom?-- Arthur J., MaltonA: No Arthur, it isn't. The only way such a conversation can be justified is if those engaged… Read More
2007-06-15 21:16
Q: I'm fairly new to blogging. A few people have left some comments on my blog. What should I do?-- Niko973, TorontoA: There are a few basic things to remember when participating in a small… Read More
2007-06-15 21:16
Q: Maybe you can settle a bet between my brother-in-law and me. He says it's rude to hold a door open for a lady, while I say it may be old-fashioned, but it's still right. Can you help?-- B… Read More
2007-06-15 21:16
Q: Because of the itinerant nature of crack addicts, am I expected to welcome them to the neighbourhood with a fruit basket, even though they probably won't stay long?-- Cracking under the s… Read More
2007-06-15 21:14
An albatross, a robin and a hummingbird walk into a bar. They order three dry martinis, shaken, not stirred. The bartender asks the sparrow for ID, saying he looks too young, and flatly refu… Read More
2007-06-15 21:14
The human body is a lot like a car. You can oil it up and rub it down, get the annual checkups and make sure it's eating right, but if it was made in Siberia, you're sure to have a convict p… Read More
2007-06-15 21:14
A penguin walks into a pawnshop with a toaster in one flipper and a racing form tucked under the other. The pawnshop owner looks the penguin up and down, whistles appreciatively and asks, "H… Read More
2007-06-15 21:13
Julius Caesar sneaks in one night, after a three-night drinking binge with the boys. He tiptoes into bed and stares longingly at Cleopatra's bronzed bosom. "Cleo," he whispers suggestively… Read More
2007-06-15 21:13
Jesus walks into an inn, hands the innkeeper three nails and says, "For the last time, fix the goddamn toilet." Read More
2007-06-15 21:13
A Protestant, a Catholic and a Muslim are waiting on a New York street corner, waiting for the light to turn green. As they stand there awkwardly, glancing nervously at each other, they noti… Read More
2007-06-15 21:11
A man walks into a bar with a zebra, a giraffe and a photo of Charles Grodin making love to a dictionary. He walks up to the bartender, takes a deep breath and says, "I'll have a Coke." Read More
2006-03-29 16:11
ARIESMarch 21 - April 20If your accounts are overdue, they're likely to stay that way. Do not set aside time for social planning, as penniless people in debt attract a poor class of friend… Read More
2006-03-27 03:34
a scene in a curling rinkthe appearance, however brief, of a bottle of Ex, Blue or Canadian50 per cent of wardrobe budget spent on plaid flannel shirts and hunting vestsobscure and/or consis… Read More
2005-08-30 22:16
1. Get a job.2. Get a spouse with a job and mooch off of her/him until she/he divorces you. Then sue for half.3. Win "Ugliest Person Alive" Pageant.4. Mug schoolchildren for their UNICEF box… Read More
2005-07-19 15:34
I Married a Dull-Witted Corn-Fed Huckster with a Foot FetishFormer Friends star Jennifer Aniston takes time from her floundering feature film career to expose the sad, sick details of her te… Read More
2005-07-05 17:21
If you're craving Chinese food, don't bother eating the neighbour's cat. You'll only be hungry again in an hour Read More
2005-07-04 19:47
With files from Steve "Psycho Samurai" O'NeillQuiet area= Located next to highway, grabage dump or dance clubLively/colourful neighbourhood= Area rife with B&Es, crack addicts and gunsho… Read More
2005-06-17 15:33
Girl: What's a fluffer?Guy 1: A fluffer is someone who works on movie sets -- to arouse men.Guy 2: He means someone who sucks cock.Girl: Oh.Guy 1: Thank you, Mr. Concise. Real classy.Guy 2:… Read More
2005-06-15 15:34
You look really hot in those flip-flops.You have the taught, unblemished skin of an eight-year-old.Even a man of God has urges.I do have wine. But wouldn't you prefer something a little stro… Read More
2005-06-15 14:43
Quick, turn around and go back. I forgot my sense of decency Read More
2005-06-10 04:52
Off to prison? Here's a guide of dos and don'ts for surviving the ordeal with your important bits intact.DO:Make yourself a shank: The sharpened ends of eating utensils and toothbrushes will… Read More
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