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2016-03-19 18:53
It's been a long time since I've updated, and I apologize. Being the GnomeCaptain, I had to lead some battles against some goblins and such. No big deal; I'm back now. So anyway, I've rec… Read More
2016-03-19 18:53
Split ends are nothing to be ashamed of. But when your beard has split ends, it can be a little embarrassing. Scientists around the world are still researching ways to fix this problem, bu… Read More
2016-03-19 18:53
My first education article has been posted! Hopefully, these articles will give gnomes a broader view of the world they live in. Just follow the link Read More
2016-03-19 18:53
To all you gnomes out there who need to make yourselves a little more imposing and intimidating, I encourage you to join a local self defense class. You'll learn about beard-fighting, hat-f… Read More
2005-07-10 21:03
We've been noticing that some of the evil Siberian Gnomes have been crossing the border into our good civilized land! If any of you notice a Siberian Gnome, call your local border patrol an… Read More
2005-07-07 23:26
Next time you buy a dishwasher, handle with care and always keep it right-side-up. Though few people know it, when you close your dishwasher, gnomes come out and clean your dishes for you… Read More
2005-07-06 00:21
Many of you are probably wondering how I make money. Truth is, I teach Biology to gnomes of "lesser education." If you want to read some of my teachings, you should go to The Realm of Queen… Read More
2005-07-05 05:02
To all you gnomes out there who still don't have fireworks for the Fourth, I'd like to alert you to some special fireworks being sold at a store near you! It can be worn as a simple hat… Read More
2005-06-30 23:21
So one of my friends was looking at my the blog this morning and he noticed that the eBay bar was somehow moved right over my latest post! There's only one party to blame for this... Intern… Read More
2005-06-30 00:25
Despite my recent power outage (you just lost vacation time, Division 89), we're still going on with the Beard Brawl that's planned for tomorrow. You know the rules; you can hit anyone insi… Read More

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