Frank: What’s wrong? You look a little sad.
Bob: Life just is bringing me down lately. Relationships are complicated, work can be tiring, and I just keep looking towards the stars to find some deeper meaning.
Frank: Did you find anything?
Bob: It all just comes back to my Dick. Dude, what if I have an ugly dick?
Frank: I don’t know man, I don’t think women care about the look of your dick ya know? Maybe it’s just about how you use it. I mean unless your dick looks like Gargamel or something.
Bob: Women have beautiful bodies, they’re curvy and sexy. And then you look at a dick and balls, and it’s just a shriveled up sack of marbles and an overcooked chicken wing.
Frank: Well, that’s fucking gross.
Bob: It is gross! That’s what I’m saying. What if I’m packing Sloths dick? Does anyone want to see my dick? I wouldn’t want to see Sloths dick.
Frank: I definitely don’t want to see your dick.
Bob: But what if I have an ugly dick? Like a bring a girl home, and I strip down, and then she looks at me in disgust?
Frank: Stop worrying, I know that didn’t happen. At least they didn’t laugh at your dick right?
Bob: Well, a girl did laugh when I undressed, but she said it was the situation, not the penis.
Frank: What if “situation” was code for penis? Sounds like you got a funny looking penis.
Bob: Oh man! You’re making it somehow worse… dude, just take a quick look at my dick.
Frank: I’m not gonna look at your dick!
Bob: OK, here is the situation. A guy comes up with a gun, and puts it to your head. And says I will shoot you, if you don’t look at your best friends dick. Then would you look at my dick?
Frank: That would never happen, you’re being ridiculous. And if had to choose, I’d take option 3. Steal the gun, and shoot him, and then maybe your dick.
Bob: So you would look at it?
Frank: I’d shoot with my eyes closed. I’m not looking at your dick.
Bob: OK situation two. We are the last people on earth. And there is like a really freaky cyst on my dick. Will you look at my dick then?
Frank: But if we are the last people on earth, what could I do about your dick? I’m not a doctor.
Bob: Okay, You got a point. Situation 3, You’re a doctor, and…
Frank: I’m not looking at your dick.
Bob: Dude, I thought we were friends!
Frank: We are!
Bob: Then be a man. Look me straight in the dick, then tell me if I have an ugly dick or not!
Frank: Don’t make me do this.
Bob: If you were in the situation, I would sack up, and look at yours.
Frank: Ugh, fine! l will look at your dick.
Bob: You will?! You really will!?
Frank: Yes, I will look at your damn dick!
Bob: I can’t believe you’d look at my dick… you are so gay.