A young newlywed friend of mine asked me if Marriage is more than having someone to listen to your complaints all the time. I told him yes, of course there's more to it. Marriage is a wonderful convenience for people who are looking for a scapegoat, which is just about everyone. Around my house I get blamed for everything. If anything is lost, I obviously threw it out. If the door is locked, I obviously locked it, even if I was asleep in my bed when my spouse went out to get the mail at the post office.

On the other hand, when you need a driver to take you home after your colonoscopy, you've got one at the ready. Last time I asked if I could simply call a cab and they said no, explaining that the hospital will not permit you to leave with a stranger after you have been anesthetized. (Thanks a lot, #MeToo movement.)