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Phony Baloney

I hate bullshit. In fact, my best quality and worst character flaw are one and the same: I'm honest even if it kills me, or you. So I get really pissed off when I find out I've been lied to and fallen for it. That exact thing happened yesterday when a friend posted something on her Facebook page that I believed completely, only to learn today that it was a bogus story that's been in circulation for five years.

You may know the one, about the lady who was unknowingly charged $250 by Neiman-Marcus for their chocolate-chip cookie recipe, thinking it would only cost her $2.50. I found it outrageous and asked if I could use it here as a blog post, but when I never heard back from her I checked it out on and found out it was phony baloney.

Okay, so truth be told, I don't always tell the truth. In fact, I lie constantly. Well, not constantly, but a lot. Like when I get invited to something I don't want to attend, I just say I'm busy that night. Or I wait until the day of the event and call and say I'm sick. Or if the server at a restaurant stops by the table to ask how is everything, and my food is all but inedible and I wouldn't feed it to my dog, I still say, with a big smile, "It's great, thanks."

I also lie about my weight. And saying it's a cute baby when it isn't. And of course politics, but who doesn't. And the worst is lying for other people who have asked me to keep a secret. I hate that, but I do it. I've kept one whopper to myself for 35 years now, and it still bothers me. But hey, I promised. So even though I lie, I keep my promises and your secrets. As for the cookie recipe, why bother baking when you can get Tate's cookies? Nothing can top them, and that's the truth.

This post first appeared on The Daily Droid, please read the originial post: here

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Phony Baloney


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