22 April 2018
We are busy. We are so busy that it is now easy to forget to eat and end up with a zero figure. A man named Aman from India, once spent 6 months without eating because he was too busy completing his assignments for the semester. To avoid such disasters, scientists have listed out methods that can be used to Cook the Food spontaneously in our stomach when we eat it. The steps to do it are as follows: (Be careful, you should not attempt to do any of these if you are a human being. These methods have been tested on Aliens and only the beta versions are available for humans which might have bugs.)
- If you like cakes and pastries then install a software called CookAnywhere in your spinal cord. This will help you to transfer the food you eat to an oven server, cook it and return back the cooked food for you to digest.
- Eating the ingredients separately is another way to reduce time consumption for food consumption. Throw in all the ingredients into your mouth as all of them are destined to enter and exit the same pathway and their order, as a nihilist might agree, is unimportant.
- Use the vibration mode of your smartphones. After eating the raw ingredients, use the mobile phones to vibrate your abdomen and as a result, cook the food using the energy from the vibration.
- Eat a few teeth to chew better in your stomach. You can digest improperly cooked items easily if you do this.
- Build a modular kitchen in your stomach. That way you can hire a chef who will prepare awesome food right in your stomach. Allow the air from the chimney to exit through your nasopharynx, so as to enjoy the smell while the food gets cooked.
As we have said before, all these methods are still accompanied with a serious life risk for the owner of the stomach. Please do not act on impulse and adopt the aforementioned strategies without discussing the outcomes with a doctor.