8 February 2018

We all have given at least one Interview in our life, even if you haven’t, just pretend for the moment that you have! Although with the rise of entrepreneurship, the tradition of giving self interviews, that is when both the interviewer and interviewee is the same person, is becoming increasingly popular, acing an interview still remains as an essential skill for any person, whether dead or alive.

These 5 steps have proved to be the most successful in messing up the aced interview, I mean, acing up the messed interview!

• Start by defining a random term. Even before you are asked your name, start speaking, as this establishes your dominance in the room. Defining a random term, we suggest the word ‘Abominable’, also adds an epithet to your resumé. And try to give the exact dictionary definition.
• Arrive in an Ambulance. This will surely earn you the sympathy of the company, you are giving the interview for.
• Add ‘Doesn’t it’, ‘Isn’t it’ and ‘Shouldn’t it’ after every sentence. For example, if you are asked your name, reply with, “My name is Chandler Bing, isn’t it?”
• Ask more questions than answering the questions. The previous point can help you out with this. But, to make the most of the situation and make your effort count, you should start asking existential questions, for example, “Do you think this interview is also taking place in a parallel universe? If so, then are our seats interchanged?“
• If you can’t convince, confuse them and if you can’t do that either and get caught doing so, then run for your life. We won’t elaborate but just ensure that you know that, being convincingly confusing and never confusingly convincing, is the shortest path to success.

Arkadeep Mukhopadhyay

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