Francis enters the living room with a purpose.
He nears the desk next to the window and jumps on the nearby chair.
He then gets on top of the desk.
He seems to be looking for something.
The Pen comes along.
Pen: what´re you doing?
Cat: I need something.
Pen: any chance I can help you find it?
Cat: No, I´m good.
Pen: stupid cat, you´re making a mess. Jason…
Cat (interrupting): yeah, yeah… whatever….
Pen (sys): what exactly are you looking for?
Cat: None of your business.
Pen: well, if you tell me what it is that you are looking for maybe I can help you find it.
Cat (losing his patience): why would you, of all creatures, want to help me?
Pen: I wouldn´t.
Cat: then why the heck did you tell me to tell you what it was that I was looking for?
Pen: to nag.
Cat: I seriously hate you.
Francis resumes his search.
Pen (annoyed): so… what are you looking for?
Cat: if I tell you, do you promise to go away and leave me alone?
Francis just glares at the pen exuding pure hatred.
Cat: don´t you have something better to do with your time than to bother me?
Pen: I´ve told you, you´re my main source of entertainment.
Cat: You truly have a sad existence.
Pen: No I don´t.
Cat: You´re sole purpose for existing is to importunate me.
Pen: Did peanut butter fall on the dictionary again or something?
Pen: you´re spitting out words you´re too stupid to know.
Cat: You, demon spawn, have to get a life. Go away!
Pen (pouting): but… I don´t want to.
Cat: Oh God!
Pen: yes, do that, won´t work but…
Cat: Do what?
Cat: what for?
Pen: I don´t know, you´re the one who was all “oh God”!
Cat: I was… Please shut up.
Francis resumes his search.
Pen: If you told me what it is that you´re looking for, I might be able to help you find it.
Cat: You already said you wouldn´t help me.
Pen: yes, but now, it´s just sad.
Cat: what is?
Cat: go die.
Pen: come on Francis, for real this time. Tell me, come on.
Cat: I am looking for a pen.
Pen (dumbstruck): say what now?
Cat: a pen. I need a pen.
Pen: You need a pen?
Pen: and you´re frantically looking for a pen, in that desk?
Pen: seriously answer me this, and please take your time.
Pen: Just how stupid can you get?
Cat (utterly clueless): what?
Pen: Francis, what am I?
Cat (auto response): a tortured soul who was sent back to earth to repent for past mistakes but escaped the almighty god´s chains and chose to squat in my house and make my life a living hell.
Pen: flattery´s not going to help you this time.
Cat: don´t you have something better to do? Just leave me be.
Pen: you´re looking for a pen!
Pen (losing “its” patience): Francis…
Pen: what am I?
Cat: seriously? Look, I´m busy, okay? I don´t have neither the time nor the patience for your mid week identity crisis.
Pen: I give up…
Cat: great. Now go away.
The Pen turns away and starts to “glide away”.
Pen: That cat is completely; well, truthfully, for lack of better word, STUPID!
Francis is left behind rummaging through Jason´s desk looking for a pen.
Cat (finds a pen): aha! Found it! Great, now I can write my letter to Santa.
From across the room, the Pen overhears Francis´s excitement.
Pen (yelling): You don´t know how to write, you stupid feline!
Cat (responding in equal manner): It´s the thought that counts you stupid stick!
The Pen is left speechless after Francis´s comeback.
Francis leaves the room with his newfound pen.
2017_ Joana Teixeira