It´s late in the afternoon when Francis finally manages to make it home.
He spent the afternoon strolling through the neighborhood but unfortunately for him, none of his friends where anywhere to be seen.
He enters his house trough the back door and as soon as his paw touches the kitchen floor, an odd aroma fills his nostrils.
He´s enticed by the sweet, yet sour scent of the martini standing on the kitchen counter.
He immediately grins defiantly as if the beverage was there, expecting him, enticing him.
He jumps on the stool next to the counter and makes his way to the drink he selfishly believes was left there for his enjoyment.
Francis is on the kitchen floor, drunk off his ass, enjoying a very satisfying conversation with his new friend, Olivia, the olive.
The Pen enters the kitchen and overhears the cat, excitedly talking about some great adventure he once lived.
Cat:… and then I was there, in the dark, but I… (hiccup)… wasn´t afraid… (hiccup).
Pen: Liar! Everyone knows you´re afraid of the dark.
Cat (offended): am not!
Pen: anyways, who´re you talking to? Another imaginary friend?
Cat: NO! I´m talking to my new friend Olivia.
Cat: Olivia! She´s right here. Can´t you see stupid stick?
Pen looks around but sees no one. Just an odd looking green thing by Francis´s paws.
Pen: stupid cat, what in the world did you drink this time?
Cat: why? Do you want some?
Cat: Good. Because there´s none left. I drank it all.
Pen: Like that surprises me.
Cat: don´t worry Olivia, this stupid stick can´t hurt you.
The Pen shakes “its” head in disapproval.
Pen: you truly are one weird cat.
Cat: You´re just jealous I made a new friend.
Pen: Yes, I´m jealous you made yet another imaginary friend.
Cat: so you admit!
Pen: admit what?
Cat: That you´re jealous of my new friend.
The pen sys and rolls “its” eyes.
Pen: crazy cat…
Jason (yelling/entering the kitchen): Francis! Not again!
Cat: what? Stop yelling!
Jason: come here.
Cat: No way!
Francis runs off.
Jason: what in the world am I going to do with this crazy cat?
Pen: put him up for adoption.
Jason looks around as if he has heard something.
Pen looks worried and hurries the heck out of there before being caught.
Francis has run off to the living room and is hiding under the coffee table, highly intoxicated.
He has a stupid grin on his face like he has just won the lottery.
Pen: You know…
Cat (screams): Ah!
Francis is scared and jumps into the air only to hit his head right on the table over his head.
Cat: Ouch! Got dammed it! Make a noise, why don´t you?
Pen: where would the fun be in that?
Pen: Francis, I´m worried about you.
Pen: one of these days you´re going to get yourself killed.
Cat: how do you figure such thing happening?
Pen: You drink too much.
Cat: NO, I don´t.
Pen: yes, you do.
Cat: so what? If I die, I die. I´ll just come back.
Pen: Come back?
Cat: yes, as a woman.
Pen (dumbstruck): A what now?
Cat: as a fabulous woman.
Pen: why would you want to come back as a woman?
Cat: Pft… why else? The fabulous dresses of course.
Pen (pauses for a while): … dresses?
Cat: of course! High couture!
Pen: I´m perfectly aware that I once said that if you didn´t exist, you´d have to be invented but…
Cat (auto-response): No one could ever invent such awesomeness!
Pen: you know what? You´re right.
Cat (surprised): I am?
Cat (doubtful): why?
Pen: This, you, can only be explained as a freak accident of nature.
Cat (clueless as ever): what?
Pen: you´re not normal.
Cat: stupid stick, you just came to that conclusion now?
Pen: No, you´re right…
Cat: I am? Again? Stupid stick, are you sure you´re feeling okay?
Cat: that´s the second time you´ve agreed with me today.
Pen: That´s because from time to time you do say some things that are true.
Cat: I do?
Cat: like what, exactly?
Pen (yelling): YOU´RE NOT NORMAL!
Cat: I know right? I´m awesome!
The Pen is left speechless. The Pen opens “its” mouth, but nothing comes out.
Pen (rethinks): yes, awesome. I have to go. Bye Francis.
Cat (confused): bye… I guess.
The Pen leaves.
Francis shrugs and turns to leave.
Cat: what´s gotten into him, her, agh! Whatever…
Pen (in the other room): just when I think that cat can´t get any dumber, boom! He surprises me.
Shakes “its” head.
Pen (cont.): fabulous dresses, high couture… good God!
Cat (from the other room): Ha! Ha! Ha!
2017_ Joana Teixeira