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The Drunken cat and the possessed pen!_episode 56

Francis, the cat, was in his bed, smoke coming out of his ears.

He was sincerely bothered. Next to him was the Pen, annoying him to no end.

Pen: … as I was saying, we really should do something about this corner of ours. I mean now that we´ll be living together it would only be appropriate for me to have my own space, don´t you think?

Cat: How about in the graveyard, that would be appropriate, don´t you think?
Pen: Don´t be ridiculous! It´s my lifelong mission to annoy the living, not the dead.

Cat: I thought creatures from hell such as yourself would feel right at home in a cemetery.
Pen: You really are in a bad mood aren´t you? That time of the month dear?
Cat: What time of the month?
Pen: You know, the time of the month when females get all cranky and bitchy.

Cat (angry): How many times do I have to tell you that I´m a boy!
Pen: Are you trying to convince me or yourself of that fact?
Cat: What fact?
Pen: That you´re male?

Cat: I hate you!
Pen: yes, well, since we´ve established that you´re male and not female, although I still have my doubts as to the veracity of that fact…

Cat: what are you blabbing about?
Pen: nothing.
Cat (exasperated): don´t you have something better to do?
Pen: Like what?

Cat: I don´t know. Go somewhere, else, and go write something. Isn´t that what pens are for?
Pen: But… I thought…
Cat: You thought what?
Pen: I thought that, we´re friends and now that we´ll be living together.

Cat: wow, wow, wow! Hold up! Living together? Are you high on space or something?
Pen: What? Jason paired us up. So now…
Cat: Now nothing! Jason didn´t pair us up. He gave you to me as a gift.

Pen: because I´m such a joy to you.
Cat: because he´s an idiot!
Pen: You really are cranky today aren´t you?

Cat: That´s because you won´t SHUT UP!
Pen: Francis, I think you should take a minute to breathe and relax.
Cat: Oh I would love to relax.
Pen: See?

Cat: what I see is a demonic Pen invading my personal space.
Pen: It´s our space now.
Cat: No, it’s not!

Pen: just have a drink and relax Francis.
Cat: stop telling me to relax! I can´t relax!
Pen: why not?
Cat: because you annoy the heck out of me.

Pen: would you prefer if I was gone.
Cat: Yes.
Pen: Liar.

Cat: I am not lying!
Pen: Liar, liar, pants on fire.

Francis thinks for a second, and then a deviant smile comes to his mouth.
The pen sees this and backs away fearfully.

Pen: Francis…
Cat: Jason gave you to me, so that means I can do whatever I want with you.
Pen: What in the world are you concocting you stupid ball of fur?

Cat: Oh nothing. But, since Jason gave you to me, as a gift, I now own you. Which means you should do as I say.
Pen: Yeah, right. Like that´s ever going to happen.
Cat: would you prefer to be thrown away to the garbage?

Pen: kitty, let me tell you how this is going to work.
Cat: excuse me?
Pen (ignoring): you and I are going to live happily ever after together, okay?
Cat: No!

Pen: Oh but, yes.
Cat: No way! I don´t want to spend the rest of my life with you!
Pen: Why not?
Cat: because I hate you!

Pen: no you don´t.
Cat: yes, I do!
Pen: Oh please, you love me.
Cat: I really don´t!

Jason comes back.

Jason: You really love that pen, don´t you?
Cat: No I don´t! Take it back.
Jason: as long as you´re happy, I guess.

Cat: Stupid human, didn’t you hear what I said? Come back here!

Jason walks away.

Francis looks back at the Pen, who is wearing a demonic smile.

Pen: Face it Francis, you and I are forever. Eternal love.
Cat: More like eternal torment.
Pen: Ha! Ha! Ha!

The end!

2016_Joana Teixeira

This post first appeared on Geek The Cat, please read the originial post: here

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The Drunken cat and the possessed pen!_episode 56


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