These days, we instantly identify our favorite companies just by hearing Slogans such as “Just do it” or “We have the meats,” but what about all the slogans that didn’t make it into the echelon of pop culture? Here are some defunct slogans that didn’t cut it for many of the world’s most recognizable brands.

Long John Silvers: “We Speak Fish!”

This 2011 catchphrase was removed from advertising campaigns after barely a year. Yikes, I guess the fish-to-human language barrier proved to be too much!

Pepsi: “We Say Thank You in Person After Every Purchase.”

We have to assume this one from 1988 was scrapped after only three TV adverts solely due to it being completely unenforceable. Still, Pepsi drinkers from that year claim to have had employees come sprinting after them any time they purchased the beverage. 

Nike: “Say No to Peer Pressure!”

Changed after the company underwent a toxic internal cultural shift which also led to the use of forced labor in Third World countries.

Subway: “Eat Sandwich!”

You can easily see the line from this to their current slogan. Neat!

Kellogg’s: “Despite Our Best Efforts, People Are Still Masturbating. Our Cereal Is a Dracula!”

The company quickly realized the wordy slogan was too clunky, which led to the second sentence being dropped completely. An easy choice considering their only cereal at the time was Corn Flakes.

Toyota: “They are TRUCKS. Call yours a car and we will take it away.”

This one was enforced heavily, leading to multiple civil suits. 

Staples: “Push the Red Button, See the Cosmic Wonder.”

What did they mean by this?

Miller Lite: “Always Cold. Always Refreshing. Not Sold in Any Stores.”

A rare misstep for the popular domestic brewing company. Also a false guarantee on all three counts. Confusing!

Taco Bell: “Holy Shit, the Dog Talks?!”

They know he talks! They make the commercials! Who was this for?

Kentucky Fried Chicken: “I remember when I was a child, once a month or so, my mother would come home with a bucket of original recipe fried chicken. It was always a surprise as she usually cooked red beans and rice for every dinner. She called it family bucket night and we all loved it. I remember when mother became sick. It all happened out of nowhere, and she declined so quickly. On her last day the whole family was in the hospital, waiting for a miracle. It was a long nine-hour day. The only solace was when I arrived, bucket of chicken in hand, ready for one final family bucket night. It was finger-lickin’ good.”

…

McDonald’s: “The Grimace Is Real. We Cannot Contain Him.”

He is.

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