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Hillary: I Want to be Why Americans Can't Have Nice Things

LAST UPDATED @ 3:24PM (1.18.2016)

Hillary Clinton declares her wealthy handlers have gone through the numbers with her, and she is convinced the United States cannot afford to use American tax dollars to provide American citizens with "nice things" her rival Bernie Sanders wants to provide like healthcare as a human right and 100% government subsidized state college tuition for academically qualified students.


Hillary Clinton testifying before House Select Committee on Benghazi. (Above)
(Public Domain Image)

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the Democratic presidential campaign of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton followed up last night's debate by asserting its candidate would make sure Americans continued to be unable to "have nice things." Secretary Clinton addressed the press this morning and explained her wealthy donors would never allow her to give all Americans healthcare as a human right, effectively regulate the financial sector, solve mass incarceration causes like for-profit prisons and mandatory minimum sentences for drug offenses, and a whole host of other things much poorer countries were able to provide for their citizens.

RELATED: Hillary Criticizes Bernie's Plan to Break Up Her Friends' Banks

"Yeah... So my rich donors, and effective handlers, are not going to let me do things like allow free state college tuition for academically qualified students, or reduce student debt, or break up the financial institutions that caused the 2008 financial collapse and prevent them from using money in your bank accounts to invest in high-risk ventures," confessed Clinton, who shrugged indifferently.

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Hillary: I Want to be Why Americans Can't Have Nice Things

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