I spent my teenage years in a little shit town, known as Henderson, Nevada. It was located on the outskirts of the all fabulous Las Vegas!

Henderson was anything but fabulous and it’s in that little hell hole that is story begins.

I was 14 years old and still a Virgin. Now to you, that may not seem like a big deal, but by then the majority of my friends had been having sex a long time, a lot of them even had babies.

I woke up that fall morning, brushed my teeth and put on my makeup. We didn’t have Youtube tutorials back then, so the only thing I knew about makeup I had figured out myself.

I took some black liquid liner and coated my eyelids, finishing the look with some gobs of cheap Maybelline mascara I had stolen from my mom’s makeup bag. After opening up a tube of brown lipstick, I smeared it all over my lips. I threw on some ripped jeans, over a pair of fishnet stockings, and laced up my Doc Martin’s. Over my head went a baby-T, and on top of that, one of my dad’s old flannel jackets.

Looking like a depressed panda bear who hadn’t escaped the zoo without a fight, I headed out of my house and down a cracked alleyway. I should have been walking to school that day, but after having missed so much due to my parents constant moving around, and my mothers repeated, “kicking me outs,” I was so far behind on my studies, I didn’t see much point.

Instead, I headed towards the local park to meet up with the rest of the town’s juvenile delinquents. I was hoping to score a 40 ounce beer, a pack of smokes and maybe a joint.

Just a few blocks from my home I ran into Jerry. “Hey, Asterisk!” he called out. I crossed the street, and made my way towards my friend.

Well, Jerry wasn’t a friend per say, he was more of an acquaintance. My best friend Butterfly had be screwing him (along with half the town) for a while. He was a greasy kid, who’s parents probably didn’t Love him much either.

I noticed Jerry had a cigarette in one of his hands. What luck? “Can I bum one of those?” I asked.

“I only have three left.”

“Please?” I continued, “I was thinking about heading to 7/11 to beg for some beer money. Come with me, we can get cigarettes too.”

I watched as Jerry looked into his almost empty pack. He glanced back to me, then he reached in and handed me one. I pulled a lighter out of my jacket pocket and lit it.

“I’ve got some change at home,” he said. “Probably at least five dollars worth. Let’s go to my place to grab it.”

“Cool!” I said, as I followed him down a side street. We walked for about half a block together. “Have you seen Butterfly lately?” I asked.

“Nope.”

“I think she ran away again. I haven’t heard from her in at least a week. Last time she took off, her mom posted flyers all around the neighborhood.”

“Yeah, I saw those,” he said. “This is my house.”

I followed Jerry to his front door. The outside of the house was in shambles, chipped paint, rotting wood and dead grass lined his stoop. I was hoping the inside might have been a little better. It wasn’t.

Jerry took a seat on his ripped sofa. “Sit down, for a minute, relax.”

I sat down on a cushion a few feet from his. “Where are your parents?” I asked, concerned about being caught ditching school.

“Dad’s at work. Mom doesn’t live here. Come closer, come over here, I want to show you something.”

Beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable, I stood up. “I thought you said you had some money here.”

“Has anyone told you how hot you are? You really turn me on. Look.”

Jerry had unzipped his pants and was holding his erection in his hands. I’d never seen a penis before. I was both terrified and disgusted at the same time. I needed a way out. I started waking towards the front door, but Jerry blocked me.

“I thought you were seeing Butterfly? I don’t think she would like it if she knew that we were together. I should really get going,” I was trying my best to talk myself out of the situation.

“Hang on a second. We don’t have to have sex, I just want you to suck on it for a minute. Come on, it’s easy, it won’t take long, and then we’ll go get some beer.”

“No, I’d rather not. I’m just gonna leave. I mean, I wouldn’t want to hurt Butterfly’s feelings.”

There was no way I was going to be able to negotiate my way out of this one. Jerry grabbed me by my hair and pulled my face to his crotch.

Trust me, I’d give you the details, I really would, if I could remember them but it seems that I’ve blocked the rest out.

There was one part that really stuck with me though. After it was done and my face was covered in semon, tears and smeared eyeliner, Jerry walked over to his change jar and emptied it.

“Here,” he said, handing me a handful of what was mostly pennies and nickels. “There should be a few dollars in there.”

I wanted to throw it in his face and beat the shit out of him, but all I could do was put it in my pocket. Jerry opened his front door, pushed me out and locked it.

I never told anyone this story before because until recently, I was just too ashamed to talk about it. I thought what happened, made me a whore. I see now it was all Jerry’s fault.

Since I’ve just given you a bum out session, I’m going cheer you up by telling you about one of the sweetest moments of my life. See, I’m nice!

The Prince had just gotten out of the big house and was finally staying at my place. I had waited six long months for him to get out, and finally I was living my dream.

Listen, I’m not an idiot. I knew he was fucked up from the very beginning. I was almost certain that immigration would have gotten him the second he was released. I was still in shock he actually came to stay with me to begin with and maybe that’s why these moments feel so important.

The Prince had grabbed me by the hand and escorted me to the giant bed I purchased in hopes I’d be sharing it with him someday. He pulled off my clothes and gave me that predatory stare he’s known for. Once his clothes were also removed, and we were both on my bed together, I began kissing his neck. I kissed his shoulders and his chest, I kissed his stomach and then I went down to kiss his dick.

But before I could get my mouth around his astounding manhood, he stopped me. Uncertain of what the predicament was, and not wanting to spoil the mood, I moved onto something else and we partook in some of the most incredible sex I’ve ever had.

I’m not giving you the details of that day either! Although I haven’t blocked these ones out, they are sacred to me. Remember? I love him ♡♡♡

Once it was all over, we both reached for our vapes and had our nicotine fix. While I was lying there in his arms he said something fucking magical to me.

“Asterisk, I want to tell you something. You know why I stopped you, why I wouldn’t let you… When you went down…?”

“I know what you mean,” I said. After all I didn’t want to force my Princey Poo to say something he wasn’t comfortable with.

“Listen Asterisk, it’s not that I don’t like that. I do, it’s just that I respect you! I respect you too much to allow you to do that to me. Do you understand?”

Right there folks! You are starting to see it now, aren’t you? That’s another reason why I love him. My sweet Prince Charming just put a hypothetical bandaid on a repressed childhood trauma.

Plus, it was probably the only time in my life a man has actually respected me.

Mettez-moi en colère, j’écris une histoire. Brise mon coeur, j’écris un livre.

If you like what you just read, you are going to LOVE the shit out of my BOOKS! Go buy em! They’re cheap, like me!