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FEMALE TROUBLE

 Allow me to be QUITE clear on a point for all of you eager readers out there.  I DO NOT HATE WOMEN!  Most of my close friends are women.  I have watched every episode of “Sex and the City”, more than once, HELL, I even watch the reruns on TV today, where they bleep out all the good parts, and still love the show.  I have dated a couple women in the past (OK, well, only two).  I am engaged, but not to a woman.  YEAH, I know you all are thinking “No shit Josh.” to yourselves, but I am getting to my point.  That point is, gay men to NOT automatically hate women.  I don’t, not at all.  I hate STUPID!  And here comes my point.  Recently, I received a comment on one of my posts.  The particular story revolved around an incident I had at my job where there were a gaggle of really incredible stupid people in that Party.  They happened to be mostly ladies.  So, I wasn’t very kind to them, not because they were women, but because they were Ignorant, classless, fucking bitches.  There, I said it.  Bitches DO exist, and they are NOT always women.  Ask anyone that has met me, I am the Bitch Club of America President, and I am fine with that elected position, thank you very much.  So, this comment was from a complete stranger.  It basically said this,

“Your post is offensive and misogynistic.  You’re calling ALL women sluts and bitches simply because of what they are wearing? And all for the sake of what you call a “narrative” (I don’t remember calling it that word, but whatever) you are NO writer, and you are simply offensive, stupid, and mostly likely a fag.”

A FAG????  WELL AREN’T YOU A BRIGHT ONE?

Oh yeah, and the comment was RIDDLED with dumb typos, to the point all I could do was laugh at it.  Next time try spell checking your attempt at scathing comments, you Ignorant Bitch slut.  So, I lost a reader, it seems, oh well.

NOW ONTO THE MUCH MORE FUN TOPIC OF STUPID PEOPLE IN THE WORKPLACE!  Today starts with a reservation of 35 people, they MUST sit outside, In Florida, in September, with the sun beaming down upon the patio like an approaching meteor.  Basically, what this means, to anyone that hasn’t visited Florida in the late summer, and this is all you have to know, IT’S FUCKING UNBEARABLY HOT!  So, the poor Servers have to set up this party of 35, which is no easy task, in 100 degree heat, and sweat it out waiting for this party.  Then all 35 of them show up like a heard of rabid cattle.  That part is fine, at least all of them showed up, and, mostly, on time.  Here’s where stupid takes over.  (And YES, all 35 of them are women, but that is not the point) They heard out to their table, sit down, and order drinks.  As their servers are running around getting their drinks situated, I see all 35 of them STAND UP, and head back inside.  Not a good sign. SO all these servers have drink checks for all these people, and now, they just got up, and flocked inside, they most likely want 35 separate checks as well, thanks for all the consideration to your servers, trollops.  So, the, I assume, President of their own chapter of The Bitch Club of America storms up to the host stand and states, in a very forceful, almost offended, manner says,

“It’s WAY too hot outside, we WILL NOT sit out there, you HAVE TO move us inside, RIGHT NOW!”

This, she screams at a hostess, it’s her first job, she’s been working here for 3 days, and she’s 18 years old, so the poor girl has NO idea what to say, and runs for a manager.  Now I get to rant.  DOES ANY SANE PERSON THINK THAT MOVING A PARTY OF 35 PEOPLE AT THE LAST MINUTE IS AN EASY TASK?  WE HAVE RESERVATIONS ALL OVER THE REATAURANT TONIGHT, AND IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO SWITCH A PARTY THAT LARGE, AFTER YOU INSISTED ON SITTING OUTSIDE EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE WARNED IT WAS GOING TO BE UNBAREABLY HOT!  Another hostess approaches and tries her best to explain this to this party, who, by the way, have shoved all 35 of their fat asses into the lobby to the point where NO ONE could get by them.  They were blocking the front door, all the hallways, everything, you couldn’t get past them, and they refuse to move.  After hearing from the hostess that we would NOT be able to move them inside, Madam President Bitch says this golden gem of wisdom.

“Well, what if there was a tsunami approaching?  Would you expect us to sit outside under those conditions?”  No, mam’n, I am thinking to myself.  If there was a tsunami approaching I would expect you to act like a sensible human being and START EVACUATING THE AREA RIGHT AWAY or at least staying at home building a freaking ARK or something, I mean, really, there’s a tsunami coming, are you REALLY gonna go OUT to dinner under those conditions, ignorant bitch.  SOMEHOW, the manager found a way to get them a table inside, but they were broken up into smaller parties, spread out all over the dining room.  Luckily, I didn’t get any of them in my station, WHEW!  Later, I saw a few of them walking to the restroom, muttering to each other about how they couldn’t believe that “we almost turned their business away”  how it was “unacceptable”  they weren’t seated together, and bitching about the “lack of customer service.”  REALLY?  Customer service is my bread and butter, and I will bend over backwards to do, mostly, anything I can to make you happy.  Will I talk about your rude ass behind your back?  Will I write a blog talking about all the incredibly rude, demented, fucking self-absorbed assholes I have run into throughout out my life? I think we all know the answer to those questions.  I can’t wait for all the random comments posted to my blog about this story.  Bring it on, just make sure to use spell check before you send it to me, you condescending ignorant bitch sluts.




This post first appeared on Fly In My Soup, please read the originial post: here

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FEMALE TROUBLE

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