Now that we’re already well into December, ’tis the season for last-minute Christmas shopping, garnishes, and that dreaded lineage Christmas card.

While some enjoy sharing all the awesome things their family’s been up to via snail mail, their recipients don’t ever feel the same. It can be annoying to read words from friends and relatives boasting about their kid’s academic achievements and all the vacations they’d been on that year. That’s what determines this mom’s brutally honest description of her husband and children so great.

Lisa’s just telling it like it is in what I’d consider the best Christmas card ever.( Side observe: who has a three-year-old after being married for 41 times ?! Those good parents .)

If you’re be very difficult learning from the photo, here’s a transcript:

Landon: Our precocious and super bothering 3-year-old. Sobs all the time and doesn’t go to sleep when he’s told. Cries when he doesn’t get Gushers after dinner. Most of the artwork he fetches dwelling from faith nursery is frightful. Our pride and joy( and source of our imbibe trouble ). em>

Hunter: Our energetic yet amazingly unathletic 9-year-old who just got cut from a soccer crew that doesn’t even keep scores in their tournaments, I know…how does that even happen ?! Spends most of his time on his iPad and said his firstly swear word this year! Super arousing ! em>

Maddy: Age 18… croaks over her data every month on her cell phone. Was floored for two weeks this precipitate after she snuck a guy in her window to “watch a movie.” Got shot from Sephora after telling her boss “just because I’m on the following schedule doesn’t convey I have to show up.” Lacks to drop out of school to become Insta famous . em>

Tom and Lisa: Somehow still wedded after 41 times. Tom still tucks his t-shirts into his jeans and just took coin from our retirement account to buy a net craft. His golf shoes are still currently on the steps after I told him three times to make them upstairs . em>

Merry Christmas from the Allen kinfolk ! em>

This is much more accurate than any Christmas card I’ve ever received. I have to wonder, though, what are the juicy details Lisa is leaving out about herself ?