I just watched this Shit for the first time in maybe a year and I forgot how much of a fucking badass Frank Lucas is. Frank didn't take shit from NO ONE! Well, figuratively speaking of course...he did indeed take shit from people on a daily basis (i.e. their lives and shit but that's a whatevs).

If you have never seen American Gangster you are missing out. Now I'm not gonna be one of those dicks that's like "WHATTTT!? OMG YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THAT MOVIE I LIKE?????? WTF IS WRONG WITH YEEWWWWWW?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!" People like that should be forced to watch Carrot Top movies for the rest of eternity with their eyes pried open.

How is that for a purgatory you mother fuckers!

Anywho...here's the jist of the movie:
Frank Lucas is not Italian
Frank Lucas starts off the movie lighting this dude on fire FOR NO FUCKING REASON and this is within the first 2 seconds of the opening credits. The word "Gangster" in "American Gangster" doesn't even get off the screen before we see Frank light some dude on fire and shoot his head in. We in the audience can't help but wonder what this dude did to deserve this fiery death but it's not important...cross Frank Lucas and die, even family. Actually wait, not family. He actually gets his family into the drug game and he puts them up in this SICK ass mansion and like gives them whatever they want. He actually shoulda killed some of his family but he didn't. Some of them are a liability and it's actually one of his own family members that snitches him out and a few of his nephews, brothers, and cousins die as part of a big raid at the end but who cares right? Family first.

So Frank is like running the shit outta Harlem, spreading Blue Magic all over town.


Haha, no Papa Smurf, Blue Magic is the name of his heroine silly!. He's making millions while Russell Crowe is hunting him.

Then one night we got Muhammed Ali versus Frazier. This is the fucking Fight of the Century regardless of what Timmy and Spencer say about Their epic battle in 5th grade. Frank and his beautiful fiance Eva are planning on going to this heavyweight bout. While getting ready, Eva presents Frank with some God awful chinchila fur jacket.

Now Frank knows that this will draw too much attention to himself at the fight but he wears it anyway. Frank is one smart mother fucker and he KNOWS he is fucked if he wears this. This is the only mistake of his life, ever! And you know why? Because he didn't want to disappoint his wife.

But let me ask you this...10 years later when Frank was in jail rotting for saving and protecting Harlem, where the fuck was his "wife" Eva? I'll tell you where: she was in a Red Lobster kitchen blowing the head chef, that's where. Frank was toppled because he was just trying to please his wife by wearing that nasty ass jacket and it ends up putting his ass in jail and she leaves him.

Damn! This dude gave you more than you could have ever imagined and you can't wait for his 70 year prison sentence to be with him again? Bullshit. I hope a spider lays eggs in your ear while you sleep and they hatch in your brain and eat your head from the inside out...bitch.

So Frank is sentenced to 70 years...no biggie. But guess what? He only served 15 of them cuz he's the biggest snitch in history! Nice. And this shit is a true story too!

This just goes to show you one thing:
If you work hard, break the law, and murder several dozen people, you too can make your dreams come true!