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Ummm, Is That Lavender Scented Compost? Nope, It's My New Organic Deodorant Stick!

Hello Deodorant, It’s me Trish…I thought you needed to know that you really don’t do a very good job at keeping me dry or smelling good. WTF is up with that? I paid good money for your sorry “all natural”, Lavender Scented ass and this is how you repay me? With arm pits that feel like they have been licked by a St. Bernard??? Thanks a lot!

You're as useful as an coked out, anorexic super model at an all you can eat buffet…what a waste!

You cost double what I normally pay for deodorant and yet you do only half of the work…are you unionized or just plain lazy?

I am glad that you are ‘Paraben and Proplyene Glycol free’ but maybe you should reintroduce those things back into your diet, cause without them, you are as useless as a Twinkie that thinks it's a tampon!

I was especially enticed to buy you when I read that your formula was 'New and Improved' and now comes with ‘Aerobic Oxygen’…I assumed that would guarantee that you were a master of your craft, but you lied! You Lied right to my face!

If this was the Roman times, this would be treason and you would be ‘beheaded’ and I bet that would hurt a lot! So, if you wish to continue our relationship, then you’d better start to increase your productivity or I am sending you to Gillette’s Guillotine….Off with your head!

This lazy attitude of yours has got to stop! So, pick up the pace asshole and do your job!

You have 24 hours to comply with this message


~I surrender to The Writing Womb~

This post first appeared on The Writing Womb, please read the originial post: here

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Ummm, Is That Lavender Scented Compost? Nope, It's My New Organic Deodorant Stick!


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