A lovely reader named Mistletoe wrote to my fake Travel Agency, requesting a trip to Iceland. Per company policy, I asked three random questions. Using this information in a unique, patented process that I can't describe here for obvious reasons, I generated a special trip for Mistletoe.
The questions and answers:
- Biggest fear? Being trapped in a crowd of holiday shoppers in a giant mall, unable to reach the outside.
- Super Power? Flight.
- Favorite activity that you've done in the past two weeks? Bird-watching.
And, drumroll... your trip:
Mistletoe, I have the perfect thing for you!! Flight, birdwatching, and no malls.
Your outing will begin in mid-March with a flight (on an airplane) to Scotland. There, you'll enjoy a shot of Whisky while you wait for your feathers to grow. (It might take a few shots. I've never actually done this before.)
Because guess what? You'll be joining the Whooper Swans (Cygnus cygnus) on their migration to Iceland, as one of them.
Your map. Memorize. (No pockets where you're going.) |
Once in Iceland, just do what the swans do. Hang out, see the sights, fly around, eat grass and insects. When it's time, fly back to the UK with the others. A few tips to make your Travel more pleasant:
- Swans mate for life. Consider yourself warned.
- You don't even have to have your apron strings around you! (Sorry. It's on my Dark Times playlist. And we are for sure in Dark Times. Speaking of that, did you see that we're about to have another drunken storm?)
- I recommend pushups. Flying for 766 miles could be taxing, but with the proper training it will be a snap.
Ok, I'm new at the travel Agency business so I might have missed a few things, like how it actually works. You might need keratin supplements but I'm not a real doctor.
Travelling Mercies, Mistletoe.
Travelling Mercies, Mistletoe.
