A Conservative and a Liberal walk into a bar. The bartender tells the Lib that he’s okay to stay, but he cannot serve any nasty, ugly, pompous Conservatives without a Court Order. The Lib says: Fine, order the Court a cheeseburger and a Light beer.
How many Tea Partiers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the bulb, and a second to whine about the regressive Utility power grid taxes.
Two Conservatives walk into a bar. One asks the bartender if he has any tea for a Tea Party he would like to organize. The bartender says: We only serve Long Island Iced Tea in here. The Conservative says: Let me taste that…why that’s not even tea, it’s just plain booze. He drinks the rest, and shakes his head. The bartender says: Well, I’m sorry, but that’s all we have. The two Conservatives leave, cracking up as they walk out the door. One says: Six more bars like this and we’ll have a good buzz on.
Why did the Conservative talk show host decide not to cross the road? So as to not look like he was being too sympathetic with the other side, and risk losing half of his fan base.
An environmentalist, a liberal economist, and a Conservative are walking along the street when they see an electric car whizzing by. The environmentalist says: There’s a person who is environmentally responsible, and helping avoid greenhouse gases. The lib economist says: There’s a person who understands that burning fossil fuel in a dirty internal combustion engine is a big money-loser in the long-term. The Conservative just smiles and says: I don’t think they even offer a radio option in that piece of $#!t.