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The Essential Bastard Blog
"What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist." –Salman Rushdie
2013-09-20 00:39
Imagine you’ve murdered an entire Saturday afternoon engaged in the mind-numbing task of washing your windows; body contorted into a multitude of obtuse angles, forced to emulate horri… Read More
2013-09-20 00:38
If I told you I was having difficulty finding grass seed in the local hardware store, or wondering why my instant coffee didn’t dissolve correctly in water this morning, would you care… Read More
2013-09-20 00:37
For the non-farm crowd, Mr. Cheese USA isn’t exactly a desired moniker. It’s certainly nothing you’d want on file with the post office or, for that matter, in a corporate d… Read More
2013-09-12 01:39
What are you doing next Saturday? No plans? Great. Let’s bomb China! Right off the map. None of this tactical nonsense. I’ll call my contacts in the shadow government and get the… Read More
2013-09-12 01:38
The recession is troubling our oceanic friends.Not even Sponge Bob can evade the swinging axe of fiscal conservatism, as his fry cook job at the Krusty Krab was apparently extinguished with… Read More
2013-09-12 01:38
After suspecting mafia infiltration within his company, my cousin promptly fouled his pants and scuttled out of state. Now, I haven’t had the privilege of breaking bread (or antipasti)… Read More
2013-09-12 01:36
When the mystery was solved my ego rocketed skyward, a steroidal geyser exploding with arrogance and cocksure bravado. Never had a question embedded itself in my skull for such a lengthy per… Read More

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