Birthday jokes are conventionally those jokes about birthday. Yet, our birthday jokes not any ordinary birthday jokes. They are so special, in other words, they are the funniest bundle on the entire Internet, where you can find long, short, and question answer birthday jokes, as well as videos. At any rate, in today’s thread you will laugh at the funniest birthday jokes on the Internet.
Birthday Jokes Video (You Might be Getting Older If…)
Birthday Jokes
The old lady was being interviewed by reporters on the occasion of her 110th birthday. “What do you think is the reason for your long life?” they asked her. “Oh,” she replied, “I suppose it’s because I was born such a long time ago.”
There’s a silver lining to being a cancer survivor.
People said to me, “Are you freaked out that you’re turning 50?”
Hell, no. I’m thrilled to be turning 50.
It’s a hot day–there’s a traveling salesman passing through a small town in Texas when he sees a little old man sitting in a rocking chair on the porch of a house. So he stops and says to the little old man, “You look as if you don’t have a care in the world! What’s your formula for a long and happy life?”
And the little old man says, “Well, I smoke six packs of cigarettes a day, I drink a quart of bourbon every four hours and six cases of beer a week. I never wash and I go out every night; I don’t get to bed until four in the morning.”
And the guy says, “Wow, that’s just great. How old are you?”
And the little man says, “Twenty-two.”
A man asked his wife, “What would you most like for your birthday?” She said, “I’d love to be ten again.” On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park – the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then the were off to a movie theater where they ate popcorn and sweets and drank Cola. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, “Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?” One eye opened and she groaned, “Actually, honey, I meant dress size!
A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range. “Look!” she said. “I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me.” So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.
Some employees bought their boss a gift for his birthday. Before opening the gift, the boss shook it slightly, and noticed that it was wet in the corner. Touching his finger to the wet spot and tasting it, he asked, “A bottle of wine?”
His employees replied, “No.”
Again, he touched his finger to the box and tasted the liquid. “A bottle of scotch?”
“His employees replied again, “No.”
Finally the boss asked, “I give up. What is it?”
His workers responded, “A puppy.”
A husband and his wife were out shopping. The wife suddenly remembered that her mother’s birthday was coming up. She said,
“Honey, can we look around for a birthday present for mom? She wants something electric.”
The husband replied, “Sure, honey. How about a chair?”
Every year on my birthday, I looked forward to my aunt’s gift—a scarf, hat, or sweater knitted by hand. One year, she must have had better things to do because I received a ball of yarn, knitting needles, and a how-to-knit book. Her card read “Scarf, some assembly required.”
Because it was my brother’s birthday, our mom wanted to do something special. She called his fraternity house and said she wanted to bring a cake. The young man who took the call was very excited. “Hey, Mrs. Schaeffer,” he said, “that would be great!”
The next day she drove to the fraternity and rang the doorbell. The same boy answered the door. When he saw the cake, his face fell. “Oh,” he said, clearly disappointed. “I thought you said ‘keg.’ ”
As a single, never-married woman in my 40s, I have been questioned endlessly about my status by friends, relatives and co-workers. Over the years I’ve noticed a subtle change in the nature of their inquiries.
In my teens, friends would ask, “Who are you going out with this weekend?”
In my 20s, relatives would say, “Who are you dating?”
In my 30s, co-workers might inquire, “So, are you dating anyone?”
Now people ask, “Where did you get that adorable purse?”
Q&A Birthday Jokes
Q: What’s the easiest way to remember your wife’s birthday?
A: Forget it once!
Q: What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
A: They were all born on holidays.
Q: What goes up and never comes down?
A: Your age!
Q: Why did the little girl get soap for her birthday?
A: It was a so a prize party!.
Q: What did one candle say to the other?
A: “Don’t birthdays burn you up?”
Q: “Were any famous men born on your birthday?”
A: “No, only little babies.”
Q: Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?
A: Because people kept toasting him!
Q: What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
A: Angel food cake, of course!
Q: Where would you learn to make ice cream?
A: At sundae school.
Q: What is the left side of a birthday cake?
A: The side that’s not eaten.
Q: What did one candle say to the other?
A: Don’t birthdays burn you up?
Q: Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
A: Because it was marble cake!
Q: What was the average age of a cave man?
A: Stone Age!
Q: What do you tell a lion on his birthday?
A: It’s roar birthday!
Q: What did the Teddy Bear say when he was offered dessert?
A: No thanks. I’m stuffed.
See also:
Cute Jokes
Short Jokes
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