Get Even More Visitors To Your Blog, Upgrade To A Business Listing >>

Muslim Jokes

Muslim jokes are coming from our religious jokes section. Indeed, these Muslim jokes or Islamic jokes are not racist or offensive, or insulting these Muslim jokes are only funny. After covering Christian jokes and the success it found, we decided also to write another religious jokes which are the Islamic or Muslim jokes. Feel free to laugh at out funny jokes.

Muslim Jokes

Q: What do you call a Muslim who owns a camel and a goat?

A: Bisexual.


Q: How do Muslims practice safe sex?

A: They mark the camels that kick.


Q: What do Tehran and Hiroshima have in common?

A: Nothing, yet.


Q: What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats?

A: A pimp.


Q: whats the difference between a truck full of dead Muslim babies and a truck full of bowling balls?

A: The bowling bowls are hard to pick up with a pitchfork.


Q: How do you tell a Sunni from a Shiite?

A: The Sunnis are the ones with the Shiite blown out of them.


Q: What’s the hardest part about a Muslim killing his own daughter?

A: Suppressing the erection.


Q: How can you tell if a Muslim girl is old enough to marry?

A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she’s old enough. If it isn’t, cut the barrel down until her chin is over the top.


Q: What’s the difference between a Muslim and a vampire?

A: At some point the vampire will stop being bloodthirsty.


A Muslim walks into his local mosque with a big grin on his face.


“What are you so happy about, Abdul?” Asks the Imam.


“Well, I’ll tell you,” replies Abdul. “I live by the railroad tracks and on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the rails, like in the American movies. I cut her free and took her back to my humble abode. Allah be praised – we made love all night, all around the tent. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position permitted by Mohammed, Peace Be Upon Him!”


“By the most Merciful,” exclaimed the Imam, “you have been blessed. Was she as beautiful as a desert flower?”


Abdul grimaced, “By the Jinn, I do not know – I never found her head.”


Q: What’s the difference between ET and Muslims?

A: ET got the point and went home.


I went to a Muslim birthday party last night. Damn if that wasn’t the fastest game of Hot Potato I’ve ever seen!


Q: Why are there only 2 pallbearers at a Muslim funeral?

A: There’s only 2 handles on a garbage can.


Q: What do you say to a Pakistani at Christmas?

A: A quart of milk, a loaf of bread and a pack of Marlboros please.


Q: What do you call a bus with 2 Somalis falling off a cliff?

A: A waste, you could have fit at least 50 in the bus!


Q: What do you call a Muslim between two houses?

A: Ali.


Q: When’s the only time you should wink at a Muslim?

A: When aiming.


NewsFlash

Reports say the stench from the thousands of bodies in Pakistan is unbearable. Police report that it’s likely to get worse now that there are dead ones.


Q: What can Saudi Arabia do to raise the average IQ in the country?

A: Allow Jews to come in.


A Russian, a Cuban, an Englishman and a Pakistani are on a train.

The Russian takes out a bottle of his best vodka, drinks a bit and throws the rest off the train and says, “There’s plenty more of that where I come from.”


Everyone is impressed. The Cuban takes out one of the finest Havana cigars, takes one puff and throws it off the train and says, “There’s plenty more of those where I come from.”

Again everyone is rather impressed. So the Englishman stands up and throws the Pakistani off the train.


Q: Where do you find a Muslim with no legs?

A: Right where you left him.


Q: What’s the difference between Dar al-islam and Dannon yogurt?

A: The yogurt has a living culture.


Q: How was copper wire invented?

A: Once, two Jews grabbed the same penny…


Two Muslims walk into a bar, they drink, they smoke, they do a bit of drugs, they harass girls and western women calling them slut so and so forth, dying for a piece of extra-marital sex.

Another exmuslim walks into the same bar and orders a bacon cheeseburger. The Muslims go,

“What are you doing man! Don’t you know that’s haram???”

How do you stop a Muslim guest from drinking all your alcohol? Invite another Muslim guest.

Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick!

How many Muslims can you fit on a Boeing 747 ?Who cares – when they get out of the fucking country we can have a beer to celebrate

A Muslim woman knocked on my front door last night – I spoke to her through the letterbox………… See how she fucking likes it!

London police are in trouble again, they have just shot a bus load of Thalidomide Muslims who were suspected of bringing small arms into the country.

at five days before Nine Elevan points out that Since singer Susan Boyle (who professes to being a virgin) has been on TV, there’s been a 97% drop in suicide bombings globally. Apparently many terrorists were unaware what a virgin actually looked like.

British weather: it’s just like a Muslim; either Sunni or Shi’ite.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A GAY MUSLIM? A SUICIDE BUMMER

whats the worst thing about two muslims in a car driving off a cliff?

you could fit three more in the back

BREAKING NEWS……Muslims have gone on the rampage in Bradford , killing anyone who’s English. Police fear the death toll could be as high as 5.

BREAKING NEWS……Muslims have gone on the rampage in Bradford , killing anyone who’s English. Police fear the death toll could be as high as 5.

A Muslim woman knocked on my front door last night – I spoke to her through the letterbox………… See how she fucking likes it!

Muslim Jokes Video

These were the funniest Muslim jokes, check also:

Offensive Jokes

Yo Mama Jokes

Racist Jokes

Blonde Jokes

The post Muslim Jokes appeared first on Jokesful.



This post first appeared on Jokesful, please read the originial post: here

Share the post

Muslim Jokes

×

Subscribe to Jokesful

Get updates delivered right to your inbox!

Thank you for your subscription

×