Welcome to sunny South Manchester on a mild but sunny Saturday afternoon. Lockdown still continues with Manchester in the highest tier, although our rates have fallen dramatically and we are below the average in England, which is being buoyed by a rather larger increase in the south east of the country around the London area.
I have now finished work for the year and can enjoy a leisurely two week break, within the confines of the restrictions of course. Now it is time to relax and enjoy what I can of the Christmas and New Year period without the spectre of work to haunt me.
I am writing this on Saturday it isn’t really Sunday Stealing – but who cares? Let’s have some fun with a Christmas theme.
1. What’s your favourite thing about the holidays?
Given that Christmas falls in December, four days after the shortest day of the year (which is on Monday), the weather and the darkness do not really appeal. It is usually a cold, dark, damp and unpleasant time of the year. This year aside, it is usually a good time to meet friends and family and generally have a fun time with get-togethers and parties, over-indulging on food and drink and generally having a great time. This year will be different because of the restrictions but I will do my best. Of course the best thing of all is no work. I love that.
2. Do you send out Christmas cards and if so how many do you send?
I no longer send any Christmas cards. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not because I am a miserable Scrooge-like old git; it is because Christmas cards are a waste of paper, a waste of time and a waste of money. We still get them but I never return them. I prefer to talk to people or see them rather than just wasting a bit of card.
3. Be honest: holiday newsletters. Love ‘em or hate ‘em?
I hate them. They are usually a way of telling the story of the last year and they are too impersonal for me. I would never bore anybody with such a thing.
4. Be honest: photo cards. Love ‘em or hate ‘em?
The same as newsletters.
5. How soon do you start shopping?
I hate shopping but Christmas shopping is even worse. The shops and stores are usually crammed full of people and the queues are massive. I return home after such trips feeling stressed tired and in need of a stiff drink. These days, I just shop online. So much more relaxing. For Christmas, I like to get it all done by the end of November.
6. Real or fake tree?
I like the smell of real trees but they are an absolute pain in the backside to maintain. They shed their needles all over the place – even the ones that are “guaranteed not to shed their needles”. And when you finally take them outside they deposit the rest of them all over your house.
So we have a fake tree. They are less messy and much more cost-effective.
7. When do you put up your tree?
We usually put the tree about two weeks before the big day, but this year, given the circumstances, we put it up on 1st December.
8. When do you take down your tree?
We usually take it down the day after New Year’s Day.
9. Describe your typical tree (size, decorations, type)
The tree is about 6ft 3inches and you can see it here.
and from my home town of Walsall:
17. Be honest: If I hear this/these Christmas songs again I will throw up
I am not even going to post them – just look them up if you don’t know them (which I seriously doubt).
Wham! – Last Christmas
Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You
Cliff Richard – Mistletoe and Wine
They are ALL awful!
18. Give or Receive?
Both. That is the point, surely?
19. Eggnog or Mulled Cider?
I have never fancied eggnog. It looks like vomit.
I also like cider – but it makes my stomach churn if I have too much of it. I will say Mulled Cider (I a small glass).
20. Ham or Turkey?
Can I say both? Of course I can.
And Finally …
Since this is a weird Christmas and this will be my last post before the day, I will sign off by wishing you all the best Christmas possible and a Happy New Year.
I will leave you with some alternative lyrics that I posted waaaaayyyyyyyyy back in 2009 (my second year of blogging). These are my own alternative lyrics to Jingle Bells.
Merry Christmas.
Dashing to the shops every single bloody day
Join another queue, pushing people out the way
I need to buy so many presents and a lot of trash
I need to win the lottery cos I’ve just run out of cash
Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to throw your hard earned cash away
Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to throw your hard earned cash away
Eating lots of food and drinking lots of beer
I am getting fat again, much fatter than last year
The weather’s looking nice; I think it might have snowed
And if I eat another thing I think I might explode
Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to double the amount you weigh
Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to double the amount you weigh
Listening to the Queen and watching crap TV
Playing silly games with my entire family
Everybody’s tired and one or two begin to snore
But later we will have to eat and drink again some more
Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to fall asleep on Christmas Day
Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to fall asleep on Christmas Day
So a Merry Christmas to the readers of this post
I like to raise my glass and to propose a toast
To everyone in Blogland; every woman, every man
Here’s to a fun-filled holiday from The Plastic Mancunian
Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to stuff your face on Christmas Day
Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to stuff your face on Christmas Day
