2016-03-19 18:53
Well there's a fine how-do-you-do. One day, you're a planet. The next, you're just an icy rock. Them's the breaks.But that's not all. Just in case you haven't kept up on the recent "up-is-do… Read More
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The Journal Of Ephermeral Inspiration Blog
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A neverending spew of pointless minutae, brilliant yet useless ideas, troublingly cruel commentary and emphatic musings on whatever shiny object happens to catch our collective eye.
2016-03-19 18:53
There there, the Journal of Ephemeral Inspirtation hasn't closed up shop, we've just been on our post-season hiatus. We will resume making with the funny this week, and we make you this prom… Read More
2016-03-19 18:53
Oh please stop shouting "soul patrol!" at us... we're so very tired...Really, is there a bigger over-baked gluttony of seam-stuffed saccharine suckfest than a two-hour American Idol finale s… Read More
2016-03-19 18:53
Now, if we were cruel, we'd make some sort of crack about E.T. saying "Ouch!" or something like that, but we're not cruel (much).Truth be told, Elliott was the best singer of the bunch, but… Read More
2006-05-11 02:09
Ouch! Seacrest is such a sadistic little creep, in'nt he? I'm surprised Chris didn't clean his clock for him.Still, it makes sense to us. Someone's got to go. Whipping-boy Elliott just worke… Read More
2006-05-05 02:36
Paris was still on the show? Huh.Perhaps the flesh-starved zombie horde will find her Sybil-like switch from camera mugging squeaky-voiced imp to pooch-lipped attitude-slathered twitchpot ch… Read More
2006-04-27 02:46
Let's face it, Kellie had been running on "cute hick" fumes for about the last two shows. And her "Unchained Melody" was enough to make Bobby Hatfield rise up from the grave to stuff a sock… Read More
2006-04-27 02:16
By now you've heard of the summer blockbuster-to-be Snakes on a Plane, starring Samuel L. Jackson, a film already tagged as the "feel-good hit of 2006" around the sprawling J.E.I. compound… Read More
2006-04-20 01:38
Woooo!It's like finally passing a kidney stone, isn't it?Thanks for playing, Fabio, now take your beanie, scar, and vagina and am-scray.See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya... chump!Also in this ser… Read More
2006-04-18 18:20
Can you believe it? A whole year already. It seems like only yesterday the Gutenberg 5000 Cyberpress® started belching its noxious fumes of cruel mockery and the mighty J.E.I. came screa… Read More
2006-04-15 13:28
Maybe it was for the best that Mandisa got the boot last week-- she probably wouldn't have enjoyed belting out Freddie Mercury tunes, if you, uh, know what we mean.(If you don't what we mean… Read More
2006-04-11 21:24
Can you believe it? It hardly seems a year since we had the big nine-oh blowout, and here we are wishing Harry Morgan many happy returns as he tries to huff and puff ninety-one candles into… Read More
2006-04-06 04:32
Uh oh, America, you done gone and forsaken Mandisa and now she's going around blessing people in the name of Jesus and whatnot. Run for the hills, sinners.Fun and games aside, can anyone rea… Read More
2006-04-03 04:11
We're pretty sure it's breast. It's musicology time again, kids, and this time we have an excerpt from Instruments of Regret: A Brass Player's Compendium of Poor Judgement by Dr. Gurn Blanst… Read More
2006-04-02 03:51
Listen up, America. You've got one lousy job to do. So quit screwing around and vote Ace off the cockadoody show already. Christ.And another thing-- any of you ding dongs let Katharine sweat… Read More
2006-03-24 02:38
Boom! Down goes Covais! Down goes Covais!OK, we feel a little bad for the twerp. Nerdlinger seemed like a happy li'l guy, y'know, despite his debilitating and shameful lithp.But it's adult s… Read More
2006-03-16 04:14
At least the carnage has slowed to one sacrifice to the underworld god Khaine a week. And though we really want to see Kevin join his fellow American Losers as a member of the flesh-craving… Read More
2006-03-10 03:36
Oh the humanity! The sadistic American public has cast out four more American Idol contestants, damned to forever wander the earth as the flesh-hungry undead... and goddammit if they still h… Read More
2006-03-08 20:55
We swore we were done with the guy. The false promises, the blown deadlines... but with the upcoming Superman flick squarely on track to be as gay as a basket of French tangerines, we broke… Read More
2006-03-03 03:49
The bad news? Four more American Idol contestants have been voted off the show and surrendered to the throngs of flesh-eating living dead that plague Los Angeles. The good news? Brenna was o… Read More
2006-02-27 02:58
My goodness, time flies... before we get too far into 2006, here's a Friday Round-Up. Do yourself a solid and catch up on some funny you missed in 2005. We'll be back with a steaming hot fre… Read More
2006-02-24 12:57
Pop juggernaut American Idol introduced new rules tonight: contestants voted off the show will be surrendered to the throngs of flesh-eating living dead that plague Los Angeles. We say "brav… Read More
2006-02-18 05:32
This week on American Idol, Randy, Simon, and Paula narrowed the group down to their top twenty-four: twelve guys and twelve gals.Here at The J.E.I., we're nothing if not risk-takers, so we'… Read More
2006-02-13 04:29
By Gurn Blanston, AP White House CorrespondentVice President Dick Cheney shot and wounded a companion during a weekend quail hunting trip in Texas, spraying the fellow hunter in the face and… Read More
2006-02-03 01:11
By Gurn Blanston, AP White House CorrespondentPresident Bush said Wednesday that even though the state of the union is strong, he understands why some Americans are worried in a time of war… Read More
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