No one is guaranteed life-long happiness when they exchange vows with their spouses. What happens when things don’t work out, and Divorce is the only viable option? Divorce can be tedious and draining if not well-planned and could result in depression.

It’s interesting to realize that you can compare divorce with Gardening. For instance, gardening is an investment that requires effort and time, even when there’s no guarantee that you will harvest bountifully. Similarly, surviving and managing divorce requires similar tactics if you want to pull through even with serious repercussions.

Are you contemplating divorce, or are you finalizing the process? It will be best to arm yourself with survival tactics. Here are some gardening techniques that will help you pull through after undergoing a divorce.

1. Your foundation determines your success

Reaping bountiful harvests doesn’t happen overnight; you must wait for the planting season, invest time tilling the land, get appropriate seeds, Plant, and water the place adequately. Then, be patient as you wait for the seeds to germinate and grow into beautiful plants.

The same case goes for divorce; there are several ways to separate from your spouse (mediation, arbitration, collaborative, litigation, and negotiation). It means that no divorce process works for everyone –you might need a family lawyer to help decide what works for you. Besides, think about the financial consequences, effects on your children and the extended family, and what the future holds.

2. There is no success without planning

Gardeners plan before venturing into the project. For instance, they have to choose quality and productive crops, make sure they don’t hurt themselves while gardening and decide when to plant and what type of soil. You also have to think about environmental factors like sunlight (how much is necessary).

Going through a divorce also requires planning. Think about your children’s and spouse’s needs. For instance, you must agree on child custody and parental rights if children are involved.

3. Too much of something spoils everything

You cannot overwater your plants or expose them to extreme sunlight and expect the crops to flourish. It’s almost the same for divorce; fighting your spouse even on issues you can easily resolve might cause unforeseen scenarios like child custody denial. Strive to handle everything moderately without anger and grudges, even when you feel that your spouse demeaned you.

4. Water is essential

Most plants thrive under humid conditions. Compassion represents water when going through a divorce. While it’s normal for both parties to fight for their interests, compassion is something you both have to think of if you want a smooth process.

Though you have lost trust in your partner, you shouldn’t take advantage of them. The fear of the unknown can be evident, but it shouldn’t dehumanize you. Instead, be compassionate towards your partner even if they deserve the worst –compassion eases the divorce process as both of you can agree on some things that couldn’t be resolved otherwise.

5. Gardening doesn’t end at planting; uproot the weeds

Though you plant and the seeds germinate, it will take some time to weed your crops. Divorce is characterized by fear (losing family, financial support, and loneliness), and you must get rid of it if you want a smooth process. It will be best to confront any underlying fears before you finalize the divorce.

The best way to handle divorce-related fears is to deal with them as they are. For instance, you can think of being financially independent by securing a job or venturing into a startup. Talk about children and how you can share parental rights –a family lawyer can advise suitably.

6. Nothing beats hard work

Remember uprooting weeds takes time and effort –nothing will get rid of them, and they won’t go away on their own. You also must water your garden and get rid of pests. The same applies to divorce; you cannot ignore some issues and expect nothing will happen.

Think of a financial plan, get the necessary documents, emotional issues, and a parenting plan. The court process is also tedious, but there is no shortcut to it. The best time to deal with a new lifestyle is to do all it takes to go through the entire process by doing every necessary process.

7. Fertilizer is vital

It’s possible to garden without even fertilizing your crops, but you shouldn’t be thinking of your bountiful harvests. Your plants need nutrients for them to grow and produce the desired harvests. It’s almost impossible to handle a divorce on your own –you need a team that can help you walk the process successfully.

Think of the support group you need to help you handle the divorce stress. You also need a lawyer to help with the court process, a financial adviser, and even a therapist. Though you don’t need everyone, it will be best to find people who can support you through the journey.

8. One step at a time

Growing and harvesting plants vary from one crop to another. It means that one crop could take longer to mature than others, and regardless of what you do, there is no way you can speed up the maturing process of each plant. You will note the same from each divorce; the processes are not similar.

It might take longer for some people to face reality (divorcing) –some process and embrace the new state faster than others. The spouse who is yet to come to terms with the awaiting process might feel betrayed and eventually slow the process. For anyone contemplating divorce, it will be best to take one step at a time and avoid rushing the process if they want to go through the process without piling emotions.