It’s 6:30 pm and my blog post for Monday still isn’t ready. Heck, I’m writing it as we speak! And it’s a recurring pattern, too. We try and try to micro-manage our blogs (or whatever normal people do for a living!) and get every little thing right but sometimes we’re just too busy with our everyday lives. That’s what happened to me! Sort of. I’ve been working nights trying to earn a little extra money to cover my necessities this month and it all caught up to me. I worked for almost three days straight passed out as soon as I sat down to write and completely missed my self-imposed deadline! I did it because I sometimes feel, as a freelancer and, frankly, as a bigger woman that I have to work at this kind of pace to combat negative stereotypes. It’s dumb, I should know better but I think we’ve all been there, haven’t we? Has that ever happened to you?
Yes, freelancers have Mondays, too!
If you’re not what society deems an ideal size and shape you might encounter a lot of negative feedback from others for missing that deadline or having to take some time off from work because, as bigger guys and gals, people already want to see you as unfit for your job. As sloppy and unmotivated just because of the way you look. Unfortunately, we tend to internalize this and many times you’ll find someone with Weight Issues Working themselves into an early grave because they don’t want to be seen as a lazy, undisciplined fatso.
“Many times you’ll find someone with weight issues working themselves into an early grave because they don’t want to be seen as a lazy, undisciplined fatso.”
As bigger bodied people we often feel we have to exceed expectations just to be taken seriously.
Let’s get rid of that right now, shall we? First, recognize that body size does not equal intellect, drive, ambition or the capacity for hard work. You’re doing your best, you shouldn’t be expected to do more because you don’t have a model’s physique. Let’s also recognize that, much like the stereotypes aimed at other groups who deal with oppression, fat stereotypes aren’t going to go away just because you defy them. That’s not how stereotypes work. You can’t work so hard that a bigot loses their prejudice, that’s not on you. That’s up to them. When you take on the burden of that prejudice you’re allowing them to escape responsibility for their actions and hurting yourself in the process.
So, now that we’ve done away with stereotypes for the purpose of this blog post, let’s talk about how to deal with some of these Monday blues. As in all aspects of our lives our schedules need a little slack sometimes. That doesn’t mean we ought to throw them out the window but maybe we can be a little easier on ourselves.
Mondays are the actual devil. You know it, I know it. Monday knows it and thinks it’s funny. Still, we can’t do away with them or we’d have figured out how to have a six-day week by now! But there are things we can do to make Monday a little less dreadful.
“Mondays are the actual devil.”
Where can I get windows like that?
- Make it a habit to treat yourself. If you dread Monday from the moment your weekend starts, as the day approaches it can actually give you real anxiety. Especially if, like many, you don’t have time to rest during the weekend. You can do a little something about that! Give yourself a little treat and do it every Monday at the same time like clockwork. It can be a favorite meal for lunch or permission to spend a little money on yourself after work. It doesn’t have to be big (or small), it just has to be something you do every single week so you can look forward to Monday all week long!
- Simplify your life.
I know, I know. If we knew how to do that we wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with, right? But think about this, we’ve established that some of us don’t even get a weekend to rest our weary bones. Why do you think that is? Well, it’s jam packed with stuff we’ve got to do! Or is it?
I get that when you’re busy everything seems crucial but sometimes we need to make the time to write down all the things we have to do and deal with in a day or a week and go over them, one by one, to see which ones are actually necessary and which ones are just fat. And, yes, this does mean maybe some things you like to do every week should only be done once or twice a month but it also means that you should maybe not be having panic attacks over home cooking from scratch at every meal or doing laundry every day when you could probably get away with doing two loads every other day.
We think we need to be super women and super men but what we really need to do is try to find ways to thrive and sometimes that means we have to toss out (or at least set aside) things we’ve convinced ourselves we have to do so that we can stop, breath, sleep and be with the people we love. Life’s short, it’ll pass you by if you let it. Don’t let it! Easier said than done, though.
- Be ambitious!
Turn Monday woes into a challenge that you actually enjoy. Now, this won’t work for everyone but it’s worked for me when I’ve needed it to. Sometimes you can’t wrestle out of things, they’re necessary and you have to do them, but they also can seem less daunting and more fun if you treat them like they’re on your bucket list!
If I have something big coming up and it’s stressing me out or scaring me, I go out of my way to try and see it as a goal and not a deadline or problem. I focus on it, pump myself up during the weekend with sprints of dedicated work (even if the work’s already done) while blasting my favorite workout music and when the time comes to complete the project, give the PowerPoint, turn in my work or whatever it is I’m doing? I imagine myself getting to the top of a mountain or finishing a marathon and I treat myself well Monday night with rest, my favorite show or book and a great dinner. It took me ages to be able to do this and there were times when I couldn’t visualize the way I wanted but trust me, it does work!
- Skip out once in awhile.
This is one of those bits of advice that can get you in trouble if you do it often! If you only take off a Monday every few weeks and only if you really need it, though, you’d be surprised just how energized you’ll feel on Tuesday morning.
Sometimes we need more time to recuperate than just a jam-packed weekend so take Monday off and don’t use it to get caught up or organized, or mess it up with the hundred-and-one things you have to do every day. Use every hour you’d usually be at work to sleep, relax, take a long bath, have some pie, watch your favorite show. Do things you never get to do and make sure not to lift a finger! You’re not going to get to do this often so make it count.
So there’s my tried-and-true advice. It might not work for everyone but I hope it does help some of you guys to beat the Monday blues and start your week with a little less stress and anxiety. Have your own suggestion? Don’t be shy, let me know in the comments! I’d love to hear what you do to deal with a bad case of the Mondays!
This post first appeared on Extra Nancy || Plus Size Blogger, Freelance Writer, please read the originial post: here