Last time we started looking at is it right to move on when a Loved one dies? Today, we will take another step forward and look at how we can move on. Is there a reasonable time that is acceptable before one moves on?
Look at the example in the Bible. Jesus was with His disciples 40 days during His resurrection. After that He ascends. He levitates and leaves this earth. Never to be seen again. What did He tell Peter (one of His disciples) before He left?
He told Peter to go and feed His sheep. In other words, get on with the work Ahead of you. He did not tell Peter to become a recluse. Remember he and Peter were pretty close. And Peter had been the over-protective one of His Master. But Peter in effect became the first pope.
And this was not 2 years or 10 years after His Master has ‘vanished’. That is not to say you have to rush things or rush the grief process. No. Grief is a personal issue. However, do not allow Grief to become permanently resident in your home.
There was a man I heard of, who had lost his wife many decades before. At around 6 p.m every evening, he still stood at the side of the road looking up and down for her to come home. He truly had never faced or dealt with the fact that his loved one was not coming home. Imagine how imprisoned he must have felt.
Perhaps you are a parent. You have responsibilities ahead to be father and mother now to your kids. It seems daunting but it gets easier each time you press ahead. You cannot neglect the duties but instead trust that life is still worth living. Give the children something to live for themselves.
I do not belittle the adjustment that is required. Knowing that your loved one is no longer there to talk to, advise you, comfort you, or whatever impact they had on you is not easy. I would say it was fair!!
Trying to quickly substitute another person to compensate for that ‘loss’ may not be in your best interest either.
I will close with these few thoughts. Remember the most important things are:
- To give yourself time.
- Be honest with yourself on how you are dealing or coping with the situation
- Do not compare how you are handling grief to others around you (even those who are grieving over the same person).
- Have someone you can talk to, pray, and be open with. Do not keep those pent up emotions inside. If you need to vent, vent!
Well, that is it for today. I will open up more in the coming weeks and months.
It is good to share and encourage others. So feel free to encourage someone or share how you moved on when a loved one died. Share in the comments below or you can contact us. Or you can write it in a blog for us too!
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