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Dear Single Lady, You Just May be the Problem

If you ask many single Women (especially those that have been searching for a long time) they will tell you that good men are hard to come by or are already taken. While this may be true, it is also possible that there could be a problem on the other side. You know, with you.

We agree that nobody is perfect so don’t get all defensive. It is important that you keep an open mind during this exposé because you may start feeling like it is an attack on who you are. Just to be clear, it is not. It is just a different look at things. Take it as looking at the other side for a bit, a teensy bit.

If you have dated a number for a while but the relationships all ended, even when some showed so much promise, there could be a problem. They came and went and some probably even got married a short while after you broke up and they seem to be happily married. What is the one common thing in all these relationships? Were the men bad? Were they all irresponsible? Maybe some of them were but the one thing that remained constant in all those relationships is you. You are something like the common denominator.

The men in your life may have been wrong on so many counts but let’s shift the focus to you for a little bit. Let us take a look at the most possible habits that could have led things south or could be keeping them from taking it a step further.

Hostility

As a single adult woman you have probably had your fair share of heartbreaks from different quarters. After stomaching all that you decided enough is enough and you will guard your heart better next time. In your attempts at guarding your heart you become a little hostile to any man who approaches you, even for genuine conversation.

Your defences are always up and you could even begin to assume that men just think and act the same and always have an ulterior motive. Going on a date with you feels like trying to pacify an angry bull. Calm down sister. He may indeed have faults but so do you and he is definitely not responsible for the mistakes of the male gender as a whole. Be a little understanding and open-minded as you get to know them.

Overreacting

Men and women think differently and that is just the way it is. Women may want to explore an emotional topic and the man may want out of it. A guy can say something and the girl begins to make a million and one assumptions about how and why he said what he said.

There will be misunderstandings and arguments but don’t drag it out. Keep calm and try as much as possible to keep it brief, especially when you are angry. Anger can get you to say things that were better kept inside so be alert. You can also agree to disagree.

Overly critical

Your man does something and then you point out all the negative in what he did. You Discredit or downplay the good and focus on what he could have done better. He avoids a fight and you think he is avoiding issues and so you pick a fight. Any human being thrives on praise and recognition so it would be best to praise the good. If he realizes that he actually makes you happy, he will find a way to work on his shortcomings.

You will also need to find out why you are Overly Critical. Did other people always discredit you? Many times when you are not happy with yourself you will spread the feeling to others, many times unknowingly. Are you happy? Do you like you, warts and all? Love yourself unconditionally and avoid self-sabotage. That way, you spread and see the good in your partner more than the bad. And that is how you bring out the good in your partner; by starting with the good in you.

 

 



This post first appeared on Blog Posts – Parenting Blog|Parenting Advice And, please read the originial post: here

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Dear Single Lady, You Just May be the Problem

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