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The Sweet and Salty Truth about Relationships

It’s February and it is traditional to celebrate Love. Emotions run deep this month especially for couples. They express it through romantic deeds like flowers, chocolates, balloons, candlelit dinners and more.

Love – the very word itself triggers feelings as well as emotions. But despite its broad context, love has a simple definition to every individual and each couple.

Let’s look at some of the ways couples experience the sweet and salty truth’s in their relationships. Read and learn from their likes, dislikes and experiences.  It’s my hope that someone’s story will inspire you in your Relationship or inspire you in your future relationship. I hope you enjoy this blog as much as a sweet box of chocolates.

David 4 years-

“It doesn’t feel like it’s work-it’s smooth. I never met anyone so dependable and solid. We definitely complement each other very well and we synergize really well. Our successes are each other’s successes.

Kelly 4 years-

“We have a very loving relationship it’s incredible because we’re on the same energetic frequency, so we connect not only as people but our inner beings as well.”

Tim-

“What’s sweet is when 2 people can come together and accept each other with childlike innocence and not have expectations that aren’t reasonable.  With that level of ability, a couple can be pure of heart with each other and truly be connected.”

Jay 4 years-

“The laughter and the communication. We have really good conversations and a great sex life. The conversations we have are pretty sweet. When we’re conversating I feel like I can talk to her about anything. We have a lot of fun together.”

Matt-

“Being with someone that’s on the same page that can share feelings with you about things in common; someone that can be your best friend.”

-Kizzie 5 years

“He runs my bath water, he cooks for me, brings me my wine, washes my clothes. He spoils me, and I really appreciate it.”

Jena 11 years

“Friendship. Our friendship is great we just gel together. Our friendship and togetherness are so sweet. When I go to call him on the phone, he’s calling me at the same time. We both call one another at the same time a lot. Our spiritual connection is really strong!”

 -Marci 27 years

“What I consider sweet might be different than what people might think. To me, being a good dad, a good provider, good husband, spending quality time with the kids and family is sweet. Knowing I always have someone I can count on when I call. Years ago, when we were building our house a lady told me how romantic she thought it was. At the time I didn’t really think of it as being romantic but looking back I guess it was.  My husband took a lot of time and consideration to make it our home and make it special. He’s doing gardening and planting around the house now and I think it’s so thoughtful and considerate. But what I love might sound corny to someone else. I also like the security of knowing he will always answer my calls and he is always helpful and always makes me feel safe and content.”

 David 4 years-

“I feel like I’m the salty one. I’m very intense and passionate. She doesn’t challenge me she lets me do me.”

Kelly 4 years-

“It takes a lot of patience. The amount of patience required to maintain a healthy relationship is the most difficult but rewarding part.”

Tim-

“There’s this weird unspoken competition. This male and female competition for everyone’s own selfish agenda or selfish intention. Like one person wants their mate to conform to an idea that they want. It’s an ideal that’s rooted in false expectations –  people are who they are. Trying to make someone conform makes it hard to experience that authentic love. Sometimes people come from where they come from so they come to a relationship expecting the same thing. Like if someone is used to being catered to as a child then they expect their spouse to cater to them.  I believe that instead of trying make someone else different or better, make yourself better instead. 90% is working on yourself and 10% is both people working on the relationship together. The individuals have to make the relationship work, so you want to be the best individual you can be.”

Jay 4 years-

“Not understanding the way my partner thinks sometimes. Not seeing the same things, not being on the same page. Not being able to see her side and her not understanding my side. That makes things a little salty.”

Matt-

“When you can tell it’s not working but you’re so close you can taste it on the tip up your tongue so you keep trying and it eventually blows up in your face.”

Kizzie 5 years-

“Inconsistency. My spouse is very inconsistent, and I just really hate that.”

Jena 11 years

“Men and women are so different, so we sometimes clash because we think so differently thus deal w things and accept things differently. And my partners motivation and ambition doesn’t match mine and that gets salty.”

Marci 27 years-

“Sometimes not respecting each other’s opinions. And better communication. Sometimes I speak before I think.”

David 4 years-

For sure, I met her in an interesting chapter in my life – in recovery. It was a time when I was rediscovering myself and I still am but during that time of self-improvement I had clarity. So, I knew she was what I wanted.

Kelly 4 years-

“Absolutely once I truly loved and cared about myself, then I met my partner, David and I was able to open myself up to him.”

Tim-

“Of course, because if you don’t love yourself how can you love someone else effectively. If you don’t know yourself  and your insecurities they might creep into the relationship and become a burden.”

Jay 4 years- “Yes, because of my expectations and because of the way I grew up, what I think is relevant might not be relevant to my mate at times. She doesn’t understand what I grew up thinking. Because of this, I don’t think she gets me sometimes.”

Matt-

100%!  If you don’t know yourself in and out it makes it hard.  If you don’t even know yourself how will you make it work with someone else? Recently I started thinking about my worth, how much do I value another person in my life?  I was devaluing myself so much that I was finding the worst people to date. You should really think about and know yourself in and out before getting into any relationship. I didn’t think about worth that much on a deeper level and about loving myself. Because  I wasn’t loving myself, I was dating these weird woman. I thought I loved myself, but I didn’t. You have to love yourself to get what you truly, truly want.

Jena 11 years-

“Oh god yes. My issues from growing up played a huge role in my relationship.  It took me a long time to realize that. My relationships in child hood effected my relationship a great deal – all my past baggage. You have to ask yourself, is the other person willing to compromise or sacrifice? My husband doesn’t judge and helps me through my struggles in my life. His spiritual strength has helped me a lot in this relationship.”

Marci 27 years-

“Yes! Absolutely. It affects my relationship with everybody, especially my spouse because he’s with me all the time!”

David 4 years-

“I’m so grateful and I practice self-care.  I used to be a people pleaser but for me to be at maximum capacity I have had to be kinder to myself and make sure I’m taking care of myself. I enjoy things through a different lens that I just didn’t appreciate before.”

Kelly 4 years-

“I can listen to myself, I trust my intuition and listen to my heart.”

Tim-

“I’m content, I’m not anxious about anything. I’m happy with myself, I spend time with myself. I have things I like to do. I have things I like to do that keep me satisfied. I approach myself the same way I approach relationships because I don’t make the other person my fix because I’m happy with myself just as I would be in a relationship. Some people get in a relationship because they want you to make them happy. I am happy in or out of a relationship. You must be happy w yourself. I love myself and I’m happy by myself.”

Jay-

“The fact that I can adapt to just about any situation and my sensitivity towards children.”

Matt-

“I’ve realized some things about myself, I believe in myself, I have more confidence, know my boundaries, and I am more patient.  I’ve learned to love myself more. I like alone time and reflecting; I enjoy spending time with myself more and more. People spread themselves really thin.”

Jena 11 years-

“The love, loyalty and passion that I bring forth in situations. Sometimes people say I love too strong.”

Marci 27 years-

“I like that I’m very giving. I believe you treat people the way you want to be treated. Treat everyone equally. Don’t put yourself on a pedestal. I try to be there for my friends. I’m a good wife, mother and sister. Anyone can rely on me.”

David 4 years-

“I’m my own worst critic. Especially where I came from (recovery, gambling, family problems).  You don’t really appreciate what you have until you come out on the other side of it. I feel like I have a lot of time to make up for.”

Kelly 4 years-

“I’m def my own worst critic and I’m hard on myself but that helps me become my best self.”

Tim-

“I wish I wasn’t so accommodating sometimes. Sometimes I accommodate others to my own discomfort.”

Jay 4 years –

“I’m a worrier; I stress and I can’t hold still.”

Matt-

“Unwillingness to admit things about myself, it can take a really long time. When things don’t work out you place blame on others. I was looking through old texts and I didn’t like the messages I sent out, I was pressuring my ex to hang out. I was unwilling to admit I was just as much at fault. The salty part is when a relationship ends, you want to let things go but are unwilling to let things go. So you have to let things in before letting them. Get the lesson! Don’t limit yourself to 1 lesson; look at the entire thing, was there really one lesson? You keep learning your whole life.”

Jena 11 years

“My sensitivity; I’m too sensitive.”

Marci 27 years-

“I can throw the f-bomb around like a sailor!”

David 4 years-

“Sharing space.  Our first time living together required adjusting and compromising. I wondered if it would work out but it’s been great. I would like to spend more time together because we both work a lot. I want to spend more time together doing what we want to do instead of what we have to do. I was pretty independent before we moved in together, now I”m like what am I going to eat for dinner? .lol It’s crazy to see transition from then to now.”

Kelly 4 years-

“Both of us going through big transitions in our life tested our ability to support each other and ultimately made us stronger.”

Tim-

“Being with someone that didn’t know themselves or love themselves and made me a co-dependent crutch. They felt they needed me in order to feel happy and that’s an illusion, it has to come from inside.”

Jay 4 years-

“Hardest thing I ever went thru was making a decision get a divorce and leave my kids. The other was lack of money which caused major issues in my relationship.”

Matt-

“It’s challenging balancing your life with another person’s life and understanding where your lives are at together. You can’t put pressure on their life; when they have other priorities respect it. You have to be on the same page with a person which requires a lot of communication. Once communication drops things will get tougher and tougher down the road.”

Kizzie 5 years-

“Me living out of state for a break/separation. It caused a lot of problems when I came back.”

Jena 11 years-

“Communication, stubbornness, both people being accountable in a relationship.”

Marci 27 years-

“Finances and when my husband agreed to convert our garage into his parents living space for their 2-month visits without asking me first.”

David 4 years-

“I just know that ultimately we have each other’s back so looking at the big picture helped me not just looking at what’s in front of me right now. I’ve never met anyone so sweet and kind. I just knew, and I know I have a winner. We have good communication, we get things off our chest and process and purge which is very helpful.”

Kelly 4 years-

“The fact that we care so much about each other and want the best for each other that made everything work out.”

Tim-

“Being able to have the ability to have me time and be introspective. If I’m going through a tough time with someone I feel rejuvenation when I have time to reflect and feel better.”

Jay-

“I never really recovered from being separated from my kids, but I was still able to be in their lives without staying with their mom. In terms of finances, I got a better job and make more money.”

Matt-

“If you really love and understand someone it makes it easier.  Getting advice from people you care about to get out of your own head helps.  People can give you some simple response that gets you back on track. Talk to your mom. I slowly opened up to my parents about my relationships and it helps me help myself. My dad gives great advice. They make things seem so much simpler. Your parents always know how to suck you out of things”.

Kizzie 5 years-

“Talking about it a lot and at some point letting the past go so you can move forward. Don’t keep harping on things that won’t help the relationship at all.”

Jena 11 years-

“I lead by example and try to mentor the situation. I ignore it, or I am ready to end it. I try to let things calm down when both of us our emotionally charged and revisit the conversation later and that usually resolves it.”

Marci 27 years-

“There are a lot more good times than bad. So, if everything was out on a scale the good would be so much heavier than the bad so it’s not worth jeopardizing losing it all for something small in the grand scheme of things.”

 

 

 

 

The post The Sweet and Salty Truth about Relationships appeared first on Wellness Soup.



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