7


CHAPTER I

Wanted: Lasting Improvements

“There is no value-judgment more important to man – no factor more

decisive in his psychological development and motivation – than the estimate

he passes on himself.”

- Nathaniel Branden

Year in, year out, we make resolutions, don’t we? Why do we fail in

our resolution to improve ourselves? Out of frustration, we seek out various

self-improvement programs and books. Has it occurred to you why the

number of self-help books is on the rise?

Many people nowadays read self-help books and enroll in some new

self-improvement program. They wanted to lose weight, quit smoking, begin

exercising, read faster, improve their personality, or learn new skills. Most

people embark on such programs because they are discontented with

themselves. They believe that if they can modify something in themselves,

they will experience contentment.

People’s experiences led them to believe that if they implement any

external changes within themselves, they will feel better on the inside. When

they receive honors, degrees, and accolades from peers, they feel good. This

led to the belief that a good feeling does complement accomplishment. They

conclude that by changing things on the outside, by becoming what other

people like them to be, their inside world will change.

It is surprising that most people got it all wrong! Actually, it works the

opposite way. CHANGE MUST BEGIN FROM WITHIN.

8

The process starts with a change in thoughts and way of thinking. This

change of thought often leads to a change in lifestyle. You can improve the

way you think, notice a shift in your behavior and perspective, and start to

see yourself in a better light.

While you may have initiated that conversion of the inner world, it

needs to be sustained to avoid going back to the old ways. As you read

along, you will be introduced to simple, useful, logical, time-tested

procedures that thousands of successful people have applied to change selfdoubt

into self-confidence. Some are daily exercises to build up your selfimage,

while others are reminders of universal laws to help you stay on the

right track when you become too reactive to successes and failures.

Just a reality check: Changing the way you feel about yourself cannot

just happen overnight and will not happen without any exertion. Quick fixes

do not work. Lasting inner change requires time and effort.

Our society is enamored with instant solutions and quick fixes.

Perhaps we can learn from an old proverb about the Chinese bamboo tree:

“After the seed for this amazing tree is planted, you see nothing, absolutely

nothing, for four years except for a tiny shoot coming out of a bulb. During

those four years, all the growth is underground in a massive, fibrous root

structure that spreads wide and deep in the earth. But then on the following

year, the Chinese bamboo tree grows up to eighty feet!” From this we learn

the virtue of patience and a deeper appreciation of lasting change.

9

The good news is that confidence is a product accessible to everyone.

While initially we were not born with it, this trait can be taught, nurtured and

built over the years, at any stage in life.

Dr. Karl Menninger once wrote, “Fears are educated into us, and they

can, if they wish, be educated out.” Confidence can be educated into us too.