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Getting up is still an issue

I thought with the new year, things would change.

My Attitude towards getting out of bed in the morning has not been moved by the beginning of a new decade. While not quite as dramatic as going from 1999 to the year 2,000, a new decade, to me, is a chance to reevaluate my life and my attitude towards it.

To that end, I have made one New Year’s resolution so far, to write in my gratitude journal every day.

Having made this decision yesterday, I am supposed to start that this morning. But what did I do? I stayed in bed longer than I had planned. Then I made coffee, brought in an armful of firewood and got the wood stove started. This took the chill off the living room. And then I spent some time in my office.

What I don’t understand is the relationship between procrastination and depression.

Am I finding it hard to do things, such as getting out of bed, because I have Depression, or am I just procrastinating and not wanting to get up? Either way, something is going on and I need to understand what it is.

Today, I am going to a Peer Support meeting, followed by a visit with my Peer Advocate.

I plan to bring this subject up in the group and one on one. Next week, I have a therapist appointment and I will air my thoughts about it with him, too. This is not a random, I need a day of rest, type of feeling. This has been a month long, or maybe longer, daily grind to get motivated to get out of bed.

READ: Have I reached a plateau?

It has been a month-long struggle to get out of bed and begin the day.

I set alarms and I hit snooze over and over. I Wake up in the middle of the night and reset my wake-up time for later, justifying it by saying to myself, “I will probably wake up earlier anyway and I will just get up.” Yet when the time comes, I do not get up. At least, not without an internal struggle with myself.

This whole mees is very draining and does not make me feel very good about myself.

I will write about what I find out. But for now, I’m going to get a shower and see if that wakes me up.

The post Getting up is still an issue appeared first on My Concealed Depression.

This post first appeared on Depression Is Not My Boss, please read the originial post: here

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Getting up is still an issue


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