Remember back in 2008, when a worthless piece of Shit tried to bamboozle anyone who was dumb enough to listen that a couple of giant knee-grows mugged her, held her down and carved a reverse "B" in her cheek to compel her to vote for Obama? Good times.

Cut to this magical plague year, and here come the credulous dupes at 'murka's flagship bumwipe, to breathlessly share with us the terrible tale of some asshole Farm-subsidy welfare-cheat in Nebraska. Agriculture researcher Dr. Sarah Taber has a great explainer thread on this nonsense.

Seriously, boycott the fucking Times already. Every dollar you give them is better used to wad up and flush down your toilet, or line your cat box. Even on the off chance that Farmer Ted's story is remotely true (because yeah, Nebraska Antifa decided that the best strategic use of gaining traction in a +20 R state is to destroy a half-million dollar farm machine), that is clearly not the thrust of the headline. This is just the millionth Cletus safari, gussied up slightly for horse-race coverage.

The only people they're fooling with this shit are their subscribers. Do your duty, America -- flush twice.