After the First War

When Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt married in 1905, it was a love match. Despite differences in their personalities and natures (he was outgoing, she was introverted), they truly cared deeply for each other, and found more commonalities than disparities.

But fifteen years and six children later (one died in infancy), those commonalities were weakening, and the differences were becoming more apparent. During the Great War (as WWI was called), they were living in Washington, where Franklin served as assistant Secretary of the Navy. He enjoyed the job and the town immensely. He was a social fellow with an easy smile and sanguine outlook. He also had ambitions.

On the other hand, Eleanor disliked the social constraints of the capital city, and the proscribed activities that wives of high level officialdom were practically forced to undertake. Socializing. Paying regular calls. Having people pay regular calls on them. Eleanor had been active years earlier in nascent “social work,” volunteering at the settlement houses of New York’s lower east side. She loved it. She felt needed – and useful. 

As the Great War began reaching US shores, she found opportunities to renew those activities. Her husband also discovered opportunities elsewhere, in the form of the part-time social secretary Eleanor had hired.

The War over, his secret love affair was out of the bag. For various reasons, it was more expedient for Franklin and Eleanor to remain together, but while both their lives followed the political path, their trails were separate. 

The Ties That Bound

Despite the emotional turmoil that destroyed the intimacy of their marriage, both Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt truly cared for and about each other. They were not rancorous by nature, and the relationship never devolved into spite or angry confrontation. They merely developed and encouraged separate lives, as well as genuinely bound themselves to what remained of “family” ties.

But only two years later, Franklin contracted polio and it colored the entire family’s life forever. FDR spent more than half a decade seeking a cure, or at least treatment for his crippled legs. Since warm water exercise was top on the therapeutic list, he spent months away from Hyde Park on New York’s Hudson River, and swam in the temperate waters of Florida and Georgia. 

The five Roosevelt children went to boarding school. Eleanor began finding her own activities.

Although they were largely absentee parents, both cared about their five children. Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays became important. With a few exceptions, wherever they were, the holidays brought them together at Hyde Park, or Warm Springs, GA and later, at the White House.  

The Holiday Table

A holiday dinner was a lifelong tradition with the Roosevelts. It was one of the few family ties binding them together (except during World War II when their four sons’ active service prevented a complete gathering). An enormous turkey with all the trimmings graced their table, and FDR took his place at its head.

Long before the convenience and accuracy of an electric knife, FDR had learned to carve a turkey with the precision of a skilled surgeon. First the legs and wings were dismantled and drumsticks were divided however that year’s recipients were awarded. The turkey breast, however, was his masterpiece, sliced neatly and paper thin and distributed accordingly to the recipients’ preferences. Gravy was passed. Cranberry sauce and sweet potatoes made rounds at the table.

Usually there was a family photograph with FDR, Eleanor, Granny (FDR’s mother), and the five children: Anna, James, Elliott, Franklin Jr., and John. In time, spouses (and there would be a revolving door of them), and grandchildren would join that table, and smile for the photographer.

Christmas With FDR and Tiny Tim

For numerous reasons, FDR spent 10 of his 12 POTUS Christmases in the White House. But in 1943 and ’44, they returned to Hyde Park, perhaps sensing it might be FDR’s last Christmas at home – or anywhere. Since it was wartime, and all the Roosevelt sons saw active service, whoever was available was urged to attend, especially spouses and grandchildren.

Hyde Park was decorated lavishly, with a huge tree (cut from their own property) in their big living area, decorated in Victorian style – including candles on the tree. Boughs and wreaths were prominently displayed. Of course there was a turkey dinner. With the trimmings. Of course there were presents. Eleanor shopped and knitted all year long, and never forgot anyone. Sweaters, scarves, hats and mittens in various sizes were wrapped for the appropriately-aged grandchildren.

Stockings were filled by Eleanor late at night with candies and small trinkets. Christmas morning provided another tradition. First thing in the morning, a pile of children descended on FDR’s bedroom to receive their filled stocking, climbed into bed with him and opened their gifts. Even when grandchildren were part of that picture, their parents (if available) showed up in bathrobes and slippers. If they thought it was corny, it was still not to be missed!

But the highlight and lifelong tradition of the FDR household was after Christmas Eve dinner, whether in Hyde Park or the White House. The family gathered around, and FDR, in his comfy chair, opened his well-worn copy of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, and “performed” the entire story in one reading. He had a voice for each character, elocuted with the style and imagination of a trained actor.

No matter how many times, over how many years the Roosevelt children heard the story, it was always a warm recollection of the holiday spirit, and a chorus of Tiny Tim’s parting words, “God Bless us every one!”

Sources:

Davis, Kenneth – FDR: The Beckoning of Destiny: 1882-1928 – History Book Club, 1971

Lash, Joseph – Eleanor and Franklin – W.W. Norton, 1971

Roosevelt, Eleanor – Autobiography of Eleanor Roosevelt – Harper & Bros. 1961

Roosevelt, Elliott and Brough, James – The Roosevelts of Hyde Park – G.P. Putnam’s Sons, 1973

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