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larph - a candid update

"You used to post piffle and nonsense here all the time - what happened? I'm scared and confused. Please hold me."
I moved around two months ago from Vancouver to London.
During that timespace I reaquainted myself with my family (not seen for years), moved into a new place, got a job and began working pretty hard.
And by working pretty hard, I mean shooting Nazis up to level 7 on Medal of Honour 2.

"And now you work for The Evil Empire a global coffee conglomerate, no?"
That is correct. My days are now filled with pouring hot soy on to my feet and other appendages to numb the pain of interacting with rude customers and their furious lust for the now-discontinued Signature Toffee Nut Syrup. *wipes frothing foam from side of mouth*

"Where are you living now?"
At the moment I am renting a room in Barking, an area in the East End of London.
Burberry baseball caps are not compulsory.

"You must be earning large amounts of cash considering it is London?!"
They pay me in beans. I am assured they are MAGIC beans.
I have recently purchased a ticket to Tokyo, and my account is emptier than a eunuchs' underpants.

"Blimey, Japan is a long way to go if you are going to go somewhere."
Well, between you, me and the internet, I am going to the otherside of the world to hang out with the most wonderful woman in the world.
And for the first time no DTS teams will be involved in this trip. I hope.

"Do you miss Vancouver?"
I miss Vancouver a great deal. But at the same time it is exciting to be in a new place with a new adventure to look forward to.
I have no idea what is going to happen.

"Hey, how come you don't talk on Skype so much? Is it because of that... thing... that thing that happened... you know?"
No, it is not because of that thing.
I am in a very different time zone and working weird shifts mixed with freakish hours in a vain attempt to save some cash. I very much enjoy talking over skype, and at the moment I have mmy symbol set to "offline". However I am lazy and secretive and sometimes cannot be bothered to set it to "away". Please feel free to skype me, you can find my ID by doing a skype search under my real name. Those of you on the internet who do not know my real name are not allowed to skype me. And no, it has nothing to do with that thing, either. We both know the kitten had it coming.

"If you could do anything in life, what would you be doing right now?"
Honestly, right now if I could be doing anything in life I would be at home in a large vibrant city, writing and munching furiously on BBQ flavoured Hula Hoops. Although not necessarily in that order.

"Do you have any other extracurricular activities going on?"
To my shame, I continue to follow the misfortunes of West Ham United.
I have also been working on a new website which will hopefully provide an exhaustive list of information/weblinks relating to North Korea. It will eventually come online at when I can workout how to get PHP to talk to MySQL to talk to MAMF to talk to my webhosts. Watch this space.
Also, I fantasise about running around my local park.

This post first appeared on Larph, please read the originial post: here

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larph - a candid update


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