The Husband and I go through our ups and downs. During the downs we can't seem to stand to be around each other. Our fights are always about the same topics and, as I've recently discovered, they are like a Dance. An uncoordinated, out-of-rhythm dance, but a dance none-the-less. Here's an example:
He: Pissed off because he thinks I don't appreciate how much work he does around the house.
Me: Pissed off because he can't focus on one project and complete it without first starting ten other projects. Hence, we always have a zillion unfinished projects.
He: Argues with me. Throws in minor insults, which we both know he doesn't mean but he says because he's mad.
Me: Same as above
He: Repeat Step Two
Me: Clams up. Lets him vent. Doesn't say much. Doesn't argue with him - makes sure he gets it all out. I let most things pass, but every once in awhile he says something that I completely and totally disagree with in which case we find ourselves back at Step Two.
He: Eventually softens and cools down. Starts to understand my original point of view. Apologizes.
He: Next day. Tells me how bad he feels about conversation the night before and apologizes yet again.
I wonder if most couples have some sort of dance to the way they argue or disagree? So long as the dance doesn't include physical harm, I'm guessing it's probably a good thing ....