For many many years, Ive been studying parents and their kids. I didn't attend any schools, universities or do-it-yourself home courses. I just sat back and watched the way parents interacted with their kids, and how the kids would react to the situation at hand.
For example, a parent would ask a child to pick up the toys that he/she was playing with.
Now depending on his/her age and many many other factors. The child may react with a small tantrum and refuse to do what was asked of him/her.
Why and what caused this reaction.
To answer this question is pretty hard, as I would need to know a few things first, an obvious one would be the the childs age, is he/she old enough to understand the concept of responsibility and is he/she old enough to understand that the toys really needed to be put away (for what ever reason).
Then I would have to know about the parents or parent, their parenting skills, working more than they really should, neglect, abuse, not enough attention, too much attention, and so many other things relating to bringing up kids.
Generally, knowing the exact answer, is probably not going to happen.
The question is though, (and it's a question that I have puzzled over for many years), would the child have reacted differently with say a bigger tantrum, or done what he/she was asked, and picked up the toys quite willingly, IF the child had been raised differently.
I have never been really sure if a child was who he/she was, no matter how he/she was raised. I have always leaned towards the idea that, a child is always going to be themselves, no matter what, and if that child was going to grow up to be an angry type of person, then a good parent may have been able to take the edge off of the badness, by showing a huge amount of love and affection.
After having my own child at the age of 36, my daughter is now 2. I still wonder how she would have been in the hands of a couple that continuously argued.
In the years that I have been with my wife, we have not once had and arguement, a fight or even a dissagreement.
My daughter is extremely happy, and I truly believe that not seeing any anger or sadness from her parents, that this has helped to make her this way.
To go to the far end of the scale though, if she was an abused child, be it mentally or sexually, I believe that she would be a totally different person.
While still retaining her genetics and characteristics as her own person.
Is she really who she is, or have we moulded her into being who she is ?
I guess I will never ever really know for sure.
For example, a parent would ask a child to pick up the toys that he/she was playing with.
Now depending on his/her age and many many other factors. The child may react with a small tantrum and refuse to do what was asked of him/her.
Why and what caused this reaction.
To answer this question is pretty hard, as I would need to know a few things first, an obvious one would be the the childs age, is he/she old enough to understand the concept of responsibility and is he/she old enough to understand that the toys really needed to be put away (for what ever reason).
Then I would have to know about the parents or parent, their parenting skills, working more than they really should, neglect, abuse, not enough attention, too much attention, and so many other things relating to bringing up kids.
Generally, knowing the exact answer, is probably not going to happen.
The question is though, (and it's a question that I have puzzled over for many years), would the child have reacted differently with say a bigger tantrum, or done what he/she was asked, and picked up the toys quite willingly, IF the child had been raised differently.
I have never been really sure if a child was who he/she was, no matter how he/she was raised. I have always leaned towards the idea that, a child is always going to be themselves, no matter what, and if that child was going to grow up to be an angry type of person, then a good parent may have been able to take the edge off of the badness, by showing a huge amount of love and affection.
After having my own child at the age of 36, my daughter is now 2. I still wonder how she would have been in the hands of a couple that continuously argued.
In the years that I have been with my wife, we have not once had and arguement, a fight or even a dissagreement.
My daughter is extremely happy, and I truly believe that not seeing any anger or sadness from her parents, that this has helped to make her this way.
To go to the far end of the scale though, if she was an abused child, be it mentally or sexually, I believe that she would be a totally different person.
While still retaining her genetics and characteristics as her own person.
Is she really who she is, or have we moulded her into being who she is ?
I guess I will never ever really know for sure.
