“I’m not sure I want to have a Baby if I have to do it alone,” I said. I could remember how badly I’d wanted children when I was younger, but my rational adult mind dreamed up every reason under the sun to avoid motherhood. “I’m afraid I’ll end up single forever if I have a baby alone. Who wants to date a woman who already has kids?” I implored. This fear of remaining single forever loomed over me. … I was afraid of scaring men off if I showed that I was committed to having a child.
[Yet,] I began to envision life as a single mom. Most of my hobbies and lifestyle choices would be sacrificed to a baby. Worse yet, I knew I’d be raising a baby without any family support. My parents, who lived more than a five-hour drive away, were both approaching eighty. Even if they wanted to help, I knew it would be hard for them to contribute in any substantial way. And my sister, who lived in Santa Cruz, wasn’t crazy about babies. I couldn’t envision her offering to babysit. This notion produced melodramatic visions of me completely isolated, never leaving the … Continue reading..