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#Momlife: Cold Coffee and Chaos

Tags: coffee chaos meal

I can’t say that I have a favorite time of day.

I’m not an early bird. In fact, I dislike waking up early very much. In my younger, pre-motherhood years I was a night owl, often going to visit my boyfriend (now husband) after I finished my work shift at 10:30 p.m. Now I often like to joke that I am more of a sleep-deprived pigeon.

If I did have to decide what my favorite time of day is, it would be difficult to choose between three distinct times:

  • The early morning when I wake up my children: they usually want to snuggle and cuddle on the couch for a short time before entering their Energizer Bunny-meets-living room tornado mode.
  • The first ten minutes after they come home from daycare: I get tons of hugs and squeezes and they fight over who gets to sit on my lap before they begin the evening fight over who gets to pick what God-awful Pink Fong video to watch on YouTube.
  • The bedtime snuggle: where I squish myself onto the edge of my son’s twin-size bed where he lays right in the middle, surrounded by most of the Paw Patrol, several Muppets, two dinosaurs, plus a black jack-o-lantern bow-tied Halloween cat that he commandeered from Grandma’s house in the way only a two-year-old could. The feeling of holding that tiny, perfect, bossy human that I created as he drifts off to dreamland is almost as great as the feeling I get when at last I can do a Special-Ops roll off of the bed, gingerly crawl to the door while avoiding the squeaky floorboards, and quietly shut the bedroom door.

The rest of my day is a blur of monotonous Zoom meetings, phone calls, Excel spreadsheets, and quickly snarfed lunches. Then comes the flurry of cooking a Meal, arguing with one or both kids over whether they will eat said meal, threatening an early bedtime for not eating said meal, throwing said mostly uneaten meal into the trash… plus baths, pajamas, reading, and finally bedtime.

The weekend is two days full of cold Coffee and chaos. I love when my husband casually asks, “So what are your plans for today?”

You mean, besides a mental breakdown, keeping the kids from sumo wrestling on the table, and generally keeping everyone alive, fed and “happy?” Meh, I’ll probably load and unload the dishwasher a few times, make more food for no one to eat, try to have craft time with one kid, and enjoy potty training the other.

Throw in the older kid whining about not wanting to take naps, sprinkle in a few tantrums, magic marker all over the dining room table, and the thermostat being broken while I am in the shower (and yet, “Mom did it, Dad,”). Add in a guilt trip from relatives because we won’t yet part with social distancing, shake it all up with some mild depression from not talking to another adult in weeks about anything besides kids or work, and BAM!

We’ve got a sleep-deprived pigeon casserole of craziness.

Cold coffee and chaos, I tell you. I need a vacation.

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#Momlife: Cold Coffee and Chaos

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