Salini Madiraju

“What’s your new year resolution?”– One question you can’t escape in the coming 1-2 weeks.

As if any of the 365 days in the outgoing year weren’t suitable to make one.

People generally fall into any one of the three categories when it comes to New Year Resolutions

• Those who are totally done with the concept of “New year resolution(s)” and don’t believe in them anymore.
• Those who fail to implement them year by year but won’t give up on making the list. Basically, the “hopeful” lot.
• Finally those who don’t just make but also implement them with utmost sincerity.

These are rare species and are almost extinct.

Our political leaders and celebrities are no exception to this classification. While it is hard to map them to the categories, we can always suggest a few resolutions they must take up for the coming year to save our lives (Well, not literally. But they’ll be duly appreciated).

• Let’s start with our Hon’ble Prime Minister- Shri Narendra Modi ji. Instead of harping on “Mithron! Have some patience. De-monetisation will empower the common man”, he could talk about what measures his government is taking to help the needy in reality.

• Modi’s best friend- Arvind Kejiriwal: I know, he’s qualified to have a 2 page list of resolutions.But what should top the list is- To focus on Delhi and not attack Modi and his government for no reason.

• Modi’s other best friend-Rahul Gandhi: He beats Kejiriwal in the number of resolutions, hands down.While quitting politics is something that would please the country, we’ll suggest something that’s favourable for both him and us. Keeping quiet when there’s no valid point. Achievable, right? And it will also save him from lot of disgrace and unwanted attention he keeps getting.

• Ekta Kapoor: Let’s get straight to the point. Stop making sh** serials like Naagin that reverse the civilization process and take people back to the Stone Age.

• Our Bhaijaan Salman Khan: Stop bombarding people with hours of scripted drama and nonsense. And how can he do that? By not signing up for further seasons of Big Boss. Bhai, can you hear us?

• Amir Khan: Though it was one of those foot-in-mouth moments, his comment on intolerant India and thinking about moving out of the country enraged the public greatly. A resolution he could take is not twice, but think thousand times before commenting on such sensitive topics.

• Shobaa De: One is always encouraged to make healthy criticisms. But what is not acceptable is thoughtless insulting just to gain some attention. This is exactly what De has done with her tweet about Abhinav Bindra’s narrow loss at Rio Olympics. So our suggestion for her could be stop making snarky comments to fish some mentions on social media.

• And finally, our Twitterati: Get over Saif and Kareena’s baby’s name. Two reasons- One, the baby doesn’t need so much of negativity and attention. Second, I believe you’ve better things to do. So for them, resolution could be – Minding your own business!

We have to wait and see who takes our suggestions seriously and brings about a change.

Resolutions or no resolutions, we should all welcome this New Year with great positivity. Happy New Year folks!

Salini is an MBA student at NMIMS, living in Mumbai. She wants to bridge the gap between ‘wanting to write’ and ‘what is written’.

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