Society has two very different opinions about being a stay at home mom. One opinion, usually held by working moms and men, is that staying home with the kids all day is a luxurious lifestyle with plenty of rest and relaxation. On the other hand, the women who choose to stay home have a very different reality. When you speak with them, they’re grateful for the opportunity to raise their Children but they also tell you about their tiresome, nonstop days, sacrifice and how easy it is to lose your Identity.
Being a stay at home mom, you quickly learn how to make the necessary changes to your home and your routine to help you not only be a good mom but to keep your sanity. You find yourself making a schedule to keep to in order to have some semblance of order and also find a way to incorporate a bit of adult interaction and social time. You were initially unsure if having that eatery installed on your porch was a worthwhile investment, but now that you can utilize the outdoor kitchen cabinets, you’re sure you made the right choice.
Striking a balance with your role in the house and maintaining your identity is no easy feat. The best way to achieve this goal is to set a schedule and organize things you need to get done with lists. Not being able to find that happy medium, you can easily be overwhelmed with a sense of worthlessness and soon depression. As your children grow, share your responsibilities. Giving children chores helps to establish a sense of self-worth and accomplishment.
Struggles With Identity
Being a stay at home mom, your life undergoes a massive change. You no longer have the time to indulge in the things you once took for granted like socializing with friends as often as you’d like. Sooner or later, you may come to feel like you’re losing your identity. You begin to struggle with loneliness and in time, depression will be an inevitable eventuality.
It is important to combat losing your identity by making concerted efforts not to lose yourself in the shuffle of being Super Mom. Get creative with adult interactions. Just because you no longer have the time of going to concerts with your friends, doesn’t mean you can’t see them at all. Schedule times at the park where the kids can play together and be kids and the moms can get some much-needed adult interactions.
Remember the hobby that you couldn’t get enough of and make time to enjoy it again. Granted, you may not be able to throw yourself into it like you may have done once upon a time, but making the time to do things you enjoy contribute to your quality of life. When you take time for yourself by doing things you enjoy, you lower your stress levels and renew your sunny disposition.
When you want to beat yourself up or wonder if you made the right choice to stay home and raise your family, think back to why you made this decision in the first place. If you find on some days you are struggling with feeling confident with your choice, have it written down, so you can read it when you need to.
You do a very demanding and otherwise thankless job that your family takes for granted; it’s no easy task. Give yourself the credit you’re due. Understand that because of your hard work and dependability, your family has come to rely on the stability you provide. In case you’ve not heard it lately – you’re doing a great job!
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