Growing up isn’t always easy, but there are Perks to having and not having Siblings. Sure it’s fun to have someone similar in age to you to play around with and stay up super late at night once the lights have been turned off. But sharing isn’t always easy, and sometimes someone gets sucker punched. Regardless of the fact, there is some good that comes out of it be it you’re the first or last Born.
Last Born Sibling
Life is sweet, you’re the baby of the family and they’ll spoil you as such. But as you grow older and want to start exploring the big world on your own, it may be hard to break free as you’ll always be the baby of the family.
It’s great at first because your older siblings will have broken most of the boundaries for you – drinking, clubbing, dating, etc. But most likely you’ll still be babied. Sure you can ask to go out with friends and your parents won’t flinch an inch when they say yes. But you’ll be hearing your phone vibrating in your purse probably once every hour with a request to check-in exactly where you’re at and what time you’ll be home.
How can you deal with this?
Remind your parents that you are your own individual as well and eventually you’ll be an adult. You’ll have a career, a life partner, kids, and that you won’t forever be a child. It’s always difficult for parents to let go of their last child, so do it as carefully as you can. If you remain open in your communication with them, it’ll make it easier for you to part ways.
Allow them into your life and incorporate them to your daily activities. Try to volunteer information before they have to ask for it first. This will help build up the trust between you and them. Eventually they’ll understand that you’re going to grow up and can’t be coddled forever.
First Born Sibling
You get the most time alone with your parents (although you may not remember it all) and don’t have to share toys for the first couple years of your life. The hard part is being the first one to break all of the rules and to push your parents’ boundaries.
You’re going to rebel in your teenage years – mom and dad will think you’re a crazy angsty teenager and won’t understand you. When you start hanging out with friends late at night, you’ll be the one with a curfew. When you crash the car for the first time, not only will you be grounded, but you’ll have your driving privileges revoked. The young siblings on the other hand will get a reception of tears and hugs, with your parents crying about how they’re happy that nothing happened to them and only to the car. You’ll stand back and watch with disgust or anger as to how different they’re treating the situation compared to when you crashed the car.
Being the first child to teach your parents how to let go is hard, but worth it. In the end they’ll give you so much freedom that you may feel that they’ve forgotten you. You’ll open up the reigns to your Younger siblings and make their lives easier when they move onto the next stages in their life. Not only will you be breaking boundaries, but you’ll be setting an example for your siblings. They’ll do whatever you ask them to since they’ll look up to you so much, so make this impression count.
If you’re still feeling blue about getting all the flack for breaking the rules, remember that studies have shown that first born children are the most likely to excel the most in a family. This could be due to a variety of factors, but the most important factor would be parental investment. As couples have more children, they invest less time with each child. So being the first does have some perks after all!
How can you deal with this?
Raising lots of kids can be difficult. If you feel that your parents are being too lenient on your siblings, step in and help out. We’re not telling you to take the belt to your younger brother, but take the time to sit them down and explain to them exactly the consequences of their actions. Your younger brothers and sisters are more likely to listen to you as opposed to your parents since you’ll be more similar in age. They’ll also look up to you a lot more than your parents so take advantage of that.
Are you a first/middle/last born and how to you deal with the perks that come with it?
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