Have you been Googling signs of a deteriorating relationship? But after all those advice columns, how do you actually know it’s time to break up with your significant other once and for all?

This may sound cliché, but every relationship ends in either marriage or break up. You might have fallen deeply for that person years ago, but they’ve changed so much that you’re just holding onto the memories. Or maybe you’ve recently gotten in a relationship after years of being single, but they’re just… not treating you that great.

In the end, it’s your decision. No one can tell you what to do. There are things you can do to try and fix the problems, but there is a limit. Break ups are hard but try to remember that almost every single adult has gone through the pain. (If you do go through with it, check out our article on how to deal with breakups!)

Whatever your reasons are for considering a breakup, we’re here to help you make this hard decision. Here is a list of 10 signs of a dying relationship:

1) You’ve been seriously considering breaking up.

The best indicator of a breakup is your gut feeling. If you’ve been thinking about it for a while, perhaps it’s time to go through with it. You must have a few reasons why – why not list them out on paper?

2) You two have been constantly arguing. And it’s not getting better.

If you’ve talked about it with your significant other already, perhaps breaking up is the best option. Personally, I give my relationships the “3-strikes-and-you’re-out” approach. If you couldn’t fix it twice, the third time is usually the time to call it quits.

3) You notice little annoying tendencies about them.

Is their messy hair starting to look like a crow’s nest? Or are you starting to notice that their laugh you thought was cute now sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard?

4) You’d rather be with your friends than being with them.

What used to be “Friday date night”  has been replaced with clubbing with the girls. And honestly, another shot of tequila sounds like it beats going home to watching movies on the couch.

5) You two don’t talk anymore. Like, at all.

You check your phone and you’ve received 10 missed calls and you have no intention of calling him back. What used to be engaging conversation for hours is now a “hey what’re you doing?” text.

6) Your sex life has dwindled down to nothing.

Losing your sexual attraction towards each other means something . It’s not unusual for it to be as great and new as in the honeymoon stage, but if the notion of sex is putting you to sleep, then you should reconsider why you’re dating them (and not just better off as friends).

7) Your future goals don’t match up.

Maybe you two have the best chemistry but you just don’t see a future with them. Maybe he wants to live in the big city and you prefer a country life. There are some sacrifices you can make to be with them, but ultimately, are you going to be happy with it? Remember to chose your happiness, because if you aren’t happy, neither of you will be in the long run.

8) They keep hurting you.

This one might be obviously, but for a lot of us when we’re so deeply enamored with someone, we forget to see their flaws. Perhaps they say really vulgar things at you when they’re mad and you keep forgiving them for it, or maybe they have physically hurt you (in which I would seriously advise a restraining order). You have to see logically that they’re hurting you, and there’s someone better out there. Don’t keep holding on to them for the hope that they will change.

9) You’ve seen them for who they really are (and you don’t like it).

Dating someone for a long time really allows you get to know someone extremely well. Sometimes you like what you see, and sometimes you don’t. If you have seen every side to them and they are not who you thought they were, break up with them unless you think you can put up with it for the rest of your life.

10) You’ve found someone else.

It happens. What ever you do, do not cheat. The guilt you feel and the hurt they feel will not be worth it.

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