I know it's Christmas Eve and you probably want to kick back over the holidays (I do too) but I HAVE to tell you about this latest NHL trade rumor I got wind of today…
Here's the scoop:
I have it on good authority that Santa's looking to hang up his hat in exchange for a helmet as his agent's orchestrating a blockbuster deal with an NHL team after the holiday trade freeze is over.
Apparently, several teams are interested in the potentially lethal net presence and power forward abilities Santa can bring to the table.
I'm being told the Detroit Red Wings look to be front runners right now.
If they're able to sign Santa, he would effectively be called upon to do a lot of the dirty work along the boards, behind the net and in front of the net, in addition to driving goalies nutzo standing just outside of their crease on the powerplay… a role left unfulfilled ever since Tomas Holmström last represented Motor City.
The deal may or may not go down soon.
But as we all know, breaking into the Show can be a confusing experience... even for a grizzly old veteran like Mr. Claus.
That's why a little preparation can go a long way.
Here's my advice to Santa to make the most out of his time in the limelight…
1. Lose the gut
You can't show up at an NHL team's practice looking like Jabba the Hutt and Benny the Bull had a kid.
So get your blubber butt in the gym and start moving some weights.
And we gotta fix your diet too.
That means no more feasting on Mrs. Claus' Christmas porridge, fatso.
It's all fish, meat, fruits, veggies from now on.
2. Lay off the elves
Let's face it.
All those elves are dead weight.
I know you’ve been rollin' with that posse for years and you homies are tight…
But the entourage's gotta go.
Otherwise, that fat signing bonus of yours gets blown on Crystal, eight balls and call girls.
Word up, yo.
3. Trim the beard
Look, the playoffs are still four months away and you're already pulling off your best Brent Burns impression.
Leave that for the Big Dance starting in April, will ya?
And if you sign with Edmonton, rest assured growing facial hair will never be on the agenda for you or your teammates.
In fact, my sources in the Oilers locker room tell me this time of the year is great for hunting down those bargain vacations to Cajun as soon as 82 games are in the bag.
Just ask Hall, Nuge or Eberle... those guys did that for years.
4. Upgrade your wheels
No self-respecting NHL playa should ever be seen driving a piece of junk sleigh.
Go with an orange Lambo like Lundqvist. Or buy an entire sports car collection à la Teemu Selänne.
You can even cab it to practice and games like a real hotshot.
Just make sure you don’t share a ride with Patrick Kane.
But if you must, keep a pocketful of change on you. You never know what sort of trouble Kaner could get you into on your way back from the clubs over a fare dispute.
Okay, enough NHL trade talk for today.
For a super effective off-ice training program used by NHL draft picks and pro hockey players, visit:
The post This Just In: Big Nhl Trade in the Making appeared first on Next Level Athletics.
This post first appeared on Next Level Athletics - Gain Strength, Boost Performance & Dominate The Competition, please read the originial post: here